Aftermath 11: Cupid Struck Stupid
by Deliverer
Summary: When Jack Hench gets his hands on Wade's old Cupid Ray design, disaster occurs. Drakken, in an ill-attempted theft, fails badly. Now he and Shego are fawning over each other, and so are Monkey Fist and Yori. With the others busy, it's up to Will, Jack, Killigan, Monique, and Fukushima to fix this mess. Can they do it? Good luck to them.
1. Spring is in the Air

_**Kim Possible: Cupid Struck Stupid**_

(A/N: Welcome to the figurative 'Season Two' of Kim Possible Aftermath. No guarantee of daily updates, as I've only just started to write this story, but I have an outline. This one will be mainly humor, though I'll touch a little on 'Boys Nightmare Out' in this chapter and once in a while throughout, but nothing too dark. Through Monique I also poke fun at how _I_ sometimes feel, albeit exaggerated.)

Spring is in the Air

"Spring is in the air, KP," Ron said, gesturing around them as he and Kim walked hand in hand through the park. She looked at the various couples walking around. There wasn't a single lone person as far as she could _see_.

"Wow, _tell_ me about it," Kim said.

"The Spring Lovers Barn Dance is going to be _badical_!" Ron exclaimed excitedly. "I actually have _you_."

She smiled softly at him and suggested, "Let's head to Bueno Nacho."

KP

The couple sat in the fast food restaurant, grinning and laughing. "Hey guys," Monique glumly said, coming up to the table.

"Monique, hey, what's wrong?" Kim asked, gesturing for Monique to sit.

"Okay, I know it's stupid, but it's the Spring Lovers Barn Dance and _again_, I'm dateless and alone. Ugh, this is just like that one Valentine's Day," Monique complained, discouraged as she rested her cheeks in her hands.

"Oh Monique, you're not the _only_ one," Kim said reassuringly.

"No? Let's review," she said. Holding up her hand she tallied the couples, saying as she went, "Josh and Tara, Bonnie and Junior, you two, Zita and Felix, Larry and Charlotte, Hirotaka and Amelia are hooking up for the dance, Yori has her pick, heck, even _Ned_ is partnering up. With Justine Flanner, Kim, Justine Flanner. I'm just the _loser_."

"Oh, uh, I'm sure you'll find _someone_," Kim reassured.

"Yeah, right," Monique doubtfully replied. "I'll catch you later," she said in a depressed tone.

"Monique…" Kim began, but Monique was already gone.

"Man, I feel sorry for her," Ron remarked.

"She'll find someone," Kim confidently stated.

KP

Monique walked through Middleton, head held low. She heard giggling and looked up. A couple was there, laughing together. She looked around. She couldn't see a single, well, _single_, around. Some couples were looking at her curiously. She groaned and searched for a refuge. She spotted a sushi place and quickly entered it.

She looked around. Couples were everywhere. She sighed despondently. A waiter came up, saying in a Japanese accent, "Table for two?"

She cringed. "Um…" she began.

"Your date is coming later, I see," he declared.

"No, no date. Just… just me," she said.

The waiter blinked blankly at her. "Just you?" he asked, unsure he'd heard correctly.

"That's what I said! Problem with that?!" she testily shot.

"Of course not, ma'am. Follow me," he assured, beckoning for her to follow. He led her to a table in a private corner. It was, of course, for two, but there were no single tables at all in the restaurant. Or in most restaurants. He left her with a menu. She opened it up and began looking through. She didn't understand what half of it was, but she didn't really care.

"Waiting for your guy, huh?" a waitress said, arriving at her table. Monique blinked then burst into tears. The waitress, alarmed, quickly backed away. "Um, I'll come back," she awkwardly said.

KP

Monique sat there crying, head buried in her arms and wallowing in self-pity. All at once a familiar voice said, "Such tears, tigress. Why so miserable?"

She gasped and looked up. "_Fukushima_!" she exclaimed in shock. She wiped her eyes and said, "I-I'm not crying. Why do you care _anyway_? What you doing here, traitor?"

"I very much missed sushi," he answered, smirking. He slipped into the seat across from her.

"Did I _say_ you could join me?" she asked sharply. Her tears were dry suddenly, she realized. She wondered why she immediately felt better.

"I did not expect an invitation," he replied.

"Being alone would be better than being with _you_," she said bitingly.

"So that is what your tears were for," he remarked, amused. "You were saddened because you were alone."

"Nuh uh!" she argued. "Back off boy, you don't know _anything_."

"You are no longer alone, Monique," he said.

"Did you not hear me? I would rather be alone than with you!" she yelled. He just laughed at her. "I'm _serious_!" she insisted.

"The nigiri is very good," he suggested.

"Did you just make a pass at me?" she asked. He smirked then pointed at her menu. She blinked then blushed deeply. "Oh," she said. "Um, you never heard that." He grinned almost wickedly, eyes mischievous. "S-so, you know what all this stuff is?" she asked.

"Hai, that is yes," he replied, nodding.

"Well, I guess it's okay if you stay. I think. You know, just to help me with the raw fish thing," she awkwardly stammered, blushing.

"Not because you want a date?" he mock pouted.

"Don't push it, boy," she warned.

"It would be my honor," he said, bowing to her.

"Right, honor," she said, smiling and brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

KP

The man who had seated her here in the first place came over. She felt slightly bad. She must have really spooked the waitress. "Kon'niciwa," Fukushima greeted, bowing. The man started then beamed, excitedly and quickly starting to speak in the same tongue. Fukushima carried on a conversation for a while—she was pretty sure it involved her, as she'd heard her name—then ordered food for both of them. The man bowed to him and he bowed back. The waiter swiftly left.

"What did you tell him?" she wondered.

"I asked if he would apologize to the waitress you frightened," he answered.

"You saw that?" she asked, blushing.

"As I came in," he answered. "It was not difficult to deduce."

"My bad," she said, innocently grinning and shrugging. He laughed.

KP

The food came and Monique looked at the odd spread. "When I think of sushi I think rolls," she declared. "What _is_ half this stuff?"

"This is real traditional sushi," he answered, handing her a pair of chopsticks. She took them.

"I honestly don't know how to use these," she said, looking around. Suddenly she wasn't feeling so out of place. This wasn't a date, but at least she was _with_ someone. Of the opposite gender. And best of all, judging by some of the looks they were given, some were envious of her and him.

"I will show you," he said. He took her hand and adjusted the positions of her fingers, explaining as he went. After some demonstrations, and a lot of mess ups, she was finally able to use them functionally, albeit not well.

"It takes practice," he remarked, easily picking up a piece and holding it out to her. She grinned, eyes narrowing slightly seductively, and took what he offered.

"Not the smoothest line, but it works," she remarked. He grinned proudly and conspiratorially. The two finished eating in comfortable silence, some conversation here and there but not much. Monique determined that she liked watching him eat; mainly the way and skill with which he wielded the chopsticks. "Boy, you could turn those into a weapon," she said.

"I have before," he answered, smiling at her. "Did you enjoy?" he asked, pointing at her empty tray.

"You know, I actually _did_," she replied. "What's that on your plate? It wasn't on mine," she added, gesturing to the sushi that he was currently in the process of finishing off.

"In a term you know, sea urchin," he replied. "It is an acquired taste."

"Can I try?" she asked.

"You are brave," he replied, offering her a small piece.

She took it and begun chewing. She cringed and swallowed. "Not a fan of the texture; and the taste is so weird," she said.

He rolled his eyes affectionately, finishing it off. "Come tigress, let us go see a movie," he said.

"Didn't I tell you this wasn't a date?" she asked. "But I _have_ been wanting to catch that new action flick."

"Fair enough," he said. They rose to leave. "Allow me the honor of paying for our food," he said.

"Uh, thanks," she said, grinning at him.

KP

The two approached the theatre. "I'll pay for the tickets," she offered, feeling slightly bad about him paying for the meal. It hadn't been cheap, and that was an understatement.

"Monique, of course it will be my honor to pay for the theatre," he said.

"Fukushima, you've spent lots on me already," she said.

"I am not 'hard up,' as you say, for money. I have much saved. At Yamanouchi we had little opportunity to go down to the nearby village or the town to spend it," he assured.

"You don't have a job either," she argued.

"Do not fear, Tigress. If you wish, next time you may have the honor of paying," he stated.

"What makes you think there'll be a next time?" she asked challengingly, raising an eyebrow. He just chuckled. Ooh, that boy burned her to no end. She almost wished that the serial killer… She shuddered at the memory, eyes filling with distress. Never mind. Oh gods, she never wanted to think about that _again_. She wanted to pretend it had never happened. She looked up at him, eyes sad. _He_ certainly was pretending. She subconsciously drew closer to him. He looked curiously down at her but decided to just enjoy it.

He handed over the money and the teller handed over the tickets. "Hi Monique," the girl said."

"Zita, s'up girl?" Monique asked.

"Nothing much. Hello Fukushima," she greeted.

"Kon'nichiwa, Zita," he greeted.

"So, are you two an item?" Zita asked.

"What? Who? Us? No!" Monique insisted, put out by the insinuation. Fukushima rolled his eyes, affectionately smirking.

"She's in denial, Zita, ignore her," a female voice said from behind. The couple turned and Zita looked up.

"Hirotaka, Amelia, Kon'nichiwa," Fukushima greeted.

"Kon'nichiwa," Hirotaka replied, bowing.

"We are _not_ a _couple_!" Monique insisted. "Besides, look who's talkin'."

"We are a couple until the dance," Hirotaka said. "We do not deny that."

"You have been a couple since the start, my brother," Fukushima teased. Hirotaka blushed. Amelia smirked seductively up at the ninja whose hand she held.

KP

The two couples sat together watching the movie. Hirotaka and Fukushima were beginning to look more and more uncomfortable by the second. Monique and Amelia sensed this and exchanged worried looks. They hadn't expected this movie to be quite this… close to home. "Hey, are you okay?" Amelia asked Hirotaka.

"Fine," he abruptly answered.

"If you want, we can leave," she offered.

"I am fine," he repeated, but his eyes were fixed on the screen where currently a scene was playing out. Pimps, a captive, drugging, violation, sex trade, and more. He scoffed disdainfully and rose, quickly walking away. Amelia worriedly looked after him and followed. Monique looked uncertainly after them and turned to Fukushima. She was concerned. He appeared frightened and weak, eyes nervously watching the screen.

"Fukushima?" she asked, putting a hand on his shoulder. He jumped at the contact and looked quickly over at her. He seemed to almost always jump at unexpected contact these days. He blinked then offered her a reassuring, but nervous, smile.

KP

Amelia hurried after Hirotaka. "Hirotaka!" she called. He preferred his full name, she knew. He'd told her that. He tolerated Hiro or Taka, but they weren't his preferred ones. She was glad. She liked 'Hirotaka' as well. He looked back at her as he reached the railing. She paused as he punched it viciously. He disgustedly pulled away from it and began pacing agitatedly.

"They have _no_ right to glorify the sex trade!" he shot angrily.

"They aren't glorifying it," she said.

"Using it as entertainment is no better," he argued.

She bit her lower lip worriedly then approached him. He was looking out over the balcony. She slipped her hands under his arms and brought them up to his shoulders as she leaned against his back. He tensed, shivered, then relaxed, deeply sighing. "It's okay. We don't have to go back," she whispered against his neck. Again he shivered. He reached up, covering her hands with his.

"All right," he said. There was silence a long moment. Finally he said, "I fear for Fukushima. How will he react when scenes of torture come on?"

"There aren't many, they aren't explicit," she replied.

"It may only take one," Hirotaka stated. Amelia cringed and looked down.

KP

Fukushima gaped at the screen feeling sick. He was pale. "Fukushima? Fukushima! Monique desperately and sharply said, seeing him shutting down. Was it shock, memories, _both_? He suddenly gasped and scrambled up, quickly leaving the theatre as he felt tears burning his eyes. "Fukushima!" she called, rising and going after him.

He raced out. She followed quickly, catching up to the young man in the parking lot. She grabbed his arm and roughly spun him around, drawing him close to her in a tight embrace. He sobbed, burying his face in her hair and shaking his head desperately, trying to block out the rush of memories crashing down around him. "Oh gods, I want to die," he sobbed.

"Shh, baby, shh," she cooed protectively, stroking the back of his head. She never _ever_ thought she would wish Monkey Fist was here, but now you'd better _believe_ she was longing for it. Fukushima needed a father figure, now more than he had for a long time.

"Fukushima!" she heard an urgent voice call. Hirotaka. Perhaps a big brother figure and best friend would work just as well. She _hoped_ so. Hirotaka and Amelia must have spotted Fukushima's mad dash for the parking lot. They were hurrying towards him. Fukushima looked forlornly up and pulled away from Monique's embrace. Hirotaka hugged his friend tightly.

"Big brother complex?" Amelia asked Monique, trying to make this less painful for them to watch.

"Definitely," Monique agreed, smiling tightly as well. Neither of the girls could keep up the front, tired smirks falling as they watched the two ninjas.


	2. The Cupid Ray

_**Kim Possible: Cupid Struck Stupid**_

(A/N: Hopefully more than one chapter will be posted today.)

The Cupid Ray

"We need something new, something fresh, something innovative and unique," Jack said to his marketing consultant as he paced back and forth in front of the window.

"Sir, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we're at a serious lack of potential products to push," the short portly man stated in response to his boss.

"Well _this_ isn't going to be good for our sales ratings," Jack said with a sigh, sitting behind his desk and looking annoyed as he went through a few potential ideas. He snapped his fingers, asking, "How's the Lamprey Project working?"

"See for yourself," the marketing consultant replied, turning on the big screen Jack had in his office. It revealed a pool filled with lamprey eels, swimming about. One of the henchmen in training was looking down at the water uncertainly. "Presumably the Lamprey Project protects its wearer from the dangers of electrical shock not only from eels, but from everything else. At the same time it's supposed to make the heroes more vulnerable."

The henchman jumped in the water at the same time a hero dummy was lowered into the water. There was a huge flash of light and Jack, as well as his Marketing Manager, cringed. "Ooh," Jack said. That had looked painful. He picked up a phone and called the front desk, saying, "You might want to send for an ambulance, stat." He hung up and the Marketing Manager shut off the TV. Turning to his consultant, Jack ordered, "Push the Lamprey Project as our latest death trap. Now, give me another potential idea, something we can use as the main attraction."

The marketing manager blinked at his boss blankly. Leave it to Hench to find a way around complications, he supposed. The man thought a moment. Finally he hesitantly began, "Well, there _is_ another possibility. Of course, we don't technically _have_ it yet."

"Shoot," Jack said.

The short man turned on the TV again. On it appeared something that looked like a heart shaped ray gun. Jack raised an eyebrow. "This is known as the Cupid Ray. It was used by the Senior's in one of their plots, which was foiled by Kim Possible. Apparently Kim Possible's tech guru whipped it up. As its name suggests, when fired it makes people fall in love," he stated to his boss.

"Hmm, I could use that on my wife," Jack wryly said.

"Ooh, had a bad argument?" the consultant asked.

"Putting it mildly," Jack answered, shrugging. "She disapproved of my late night at the office with Tiffany lingering about. I disapproved of her GJ agents, _this_ batch all male might I add, lingering around my mansion and my wife. That's the down side of being a man. You don't want your lover being around other guys, you're possessive, you stay a late night with a woman you're a cad and a cheat. Then again, I guess it's a two way street. If you're a woman hanging out with men besides your partner you're loose, if you get angry with him for staying a late night you're a jealous, well, you know."

"Ouch, sounds ugly," the consultant said.

"Don't remind me," Jack grumbled. It hadn't been pretty. "Look, just get the design for that ray from the Senior's. I want a prototype ready for testing ASAP."

"Yes sir," the consultant agreed, saluting and hurrying out.

KP

Yori walked through the college. "Yori, babe, looking good," one of the young men said to her as she passed by. She offered a polite smile.

"So, Yori, searching for a date to the Spring Lovers Barn Dance?" another man asked, suddenly coming up next to her.

"Not at present," she replied, bowing to him and walking passed.

"Yori, sweetheart, you, me, Lovers Barn Dance. Or, you know, we could make our own dance of love," a third man lewdly suggested.

Yori frowned, slightly put out, and answered, "I am not currently searching for a date, domo." Quickly she skirted around the man. She didn't understand these American style methods of wooing. They simply didn't seem sincere. She disapproved of them. Did they expect her to leap at just any offer of romance? Were these American men somehow just so confident in themselves that they believed any foreign girl would die to be with them? She didn't see the appeal of the western courting rituals, honestly.

She thought these questions over. They probably believed she was an objective, a goal to be reached. They likely believed it would be the ultimate accomplishment to possess the foreign untouchable in their midst. In fact, she wouldn't doubt they saw her as some sort of prostitute or mail-order bride, or in this case girlfriend. Judging by some of the comments she was receiving, they also thought that she would sleep with any male that looked her way. Well, she was above that, and none of these would be possessing her.

Yori opened her locker and put away her books. A throat was cleared behind her and she turned only to see one of the women who worked in the office. "Flower delivery," the woman declared, handing her a box. Yori opened it and stared at the numerous bouquets. She began looking through the cards. There was a different name on each one. She sighed in annoyance. The flowers were beautiful, though, she would admit. "So honey, which one are you going to the big dance with?" the woman asked, being friendly.

"I have no interest in any of them," Yori answered. "I do not see why everyone is hurrying to, as you say, 'pair up.'"

"It's the biggest and most romantic dance of the year," the woman said, winking at the girl teasingly. "Everybody who's anybody will have a date."

"I see, so it is a tradition," Yori said.

"I wouldn't call it that. It's fairly new in Middleton, actually," the woman answered.

"And it is expected I be with someone?" Yori asked.

"It's the norm, but I can't see why anyone would have a problem with you going alone. You can certainly get any man you want. There's no reason for you to prove that. If anything you'll seem independent and strong willed," the woman stated. "It's more a young people's thing anyway. We older ones go along for the amusement value, the buffet, and the socializing. Or to show you young ones what _real_ love is." With a wave she walked off, leaving Yori to ponder her words.

KP

Lightning cracked in the background of Fiske Castle. "My, my, always lightning and thunder up here," Nane said, shaking her head hopelessly out the window.

"Oh quit complaining," Monkey Fist said to her as he sat sipping tea and reading through a scroll. He much preferred scrolls to books, at least to a degree.

"I dare say a little sun would do _wonders_ for you, Montgomery," she said to her child, shaking her head at him hopelessly.

"Hardly," Monkey Fist replied, not even bothering to glance up.

"You could die from such a man," Nane said, rolling her eyes at her son.

Monkey Fist started and blinked. He frowned in annoyance and glared icily at his mother. "Really now, must you exaggerate everything?" he demanded of her.

"Who's exaggerating? I was certainly hospitalized enough times worrying sick over my little boy. You can hardly blame me, what with your being out there gallivanting about and getting cursed by immortal Monkey Spirits," Nane said.

"Mother!" he shot angrily. "We are not _having_ this discussion!"

"Very well, another subject then. When can I expect grandchildren?" she demanded. "I'm certainly not getting any younger."

Monkey Fist twitched then yelled, "Mum!" Oh being stuck in this castle during a thunderstorm alone with his mother was going to end in them both killing each other.

"It's a perfectly valid question, Montgomery. Why the closest thing I've had to a grandchild is that young ninja boy," Nane said. "And of course you couldn't even do _that_ right. Imagine, losing him before you even had possession of him."

"The woman put him in a secret ninja school!" Monkey Fist defended. "How the blazes was _I_ supposed to know?"

"And little Hana, the next closest substitute," Nane said, ignoring her sons defence. "Unfortunately you couldn't hold onto _her_."

"Don't go there, mother," Monkey Fist growled lowly. Nane was, indeed, about to go there, but all at once the phone rang. Monkey Fist inwardly cheered and leapt at it. "Good day; Lord Montgomery Fisk here. How may I help you?" he questioned, grateful for the distraction. He listened a moment, becoming slightly intrigued. Henchco was on the other line, and they were boasting a new product that was going to be pushed and sold to the highest bidder. Monkey Fist wasn't one for technology, but every now and then Jack Hench came up with something worth looking at. Perhaps a trip to Middleton was in order. At least it would get him away from the bane of his existence. Yes, he meant Nanny Nane.

KP

Will sat on the balcony of his father's mansion working on homework and looking more and more frustrated with it by the second. He didn't see the point in his having to further take college courses with his tutors. He had a job _already_. What he was lacking was a social life. Of course, he didn't particularly care about such pointless things as socializing, but still.

"Hey kiddo, how goes it?" Jack asked, coming out and sitting next to his son on the swinging chair.

"In a word? Nowhere," Will answered. "Humph, why am I even doing these stupid courses? I _have_ a job."

"You know what they say, 'knowledge is power,'" Jack said, smirking in amusement.

"How's that working for you, Jack?" Will sarcastically questioned. He blinked then frowned, adding half to himself and half to Jack, "That's going to take some getting used to."

"What is?" Jack asked, ignoring the low blow Will had given.

"Calling you dad again, and dropping the sarcasm," Will answered, smirking up at his father.

"I'm touched the great Will Du is bothering," Jack remarked, grinning at the boy affectionately. Will frowned back at the homework. "Great, the Spring Lovers Barn Dance and I'm going to be stuck _here_."

"The what now?" Jack asked.

"The Spring Lovers Barn Dance. Only the biggest community get together there is. Started a couple years ago and is becoming some annual thing," Will answered. Not that he much cared for romance, honestly.

"You have a girlfriend?" Jack asked doubtfully.

"Oh please, as if I have the time," Will answered. "I go for the food."

"You're an old man, son," Jack teased, but he was thinking it over. Hmm, he couldn't have stumbled on a better time to unveil the Cupid Ray. Talk about luck. He could elaborate on that during the auction, perhaps.

"I could get a girl if I wanted!" Will defended.

"Right," Jack replied.

"You don't think I could?" Will asked, offended.

"No, I _know_ you could… probably," Jack said.

"Probably!" Will exclaimed.

"Name two single girls you know," Jack challenged. Will blinked blankly, opened his mouth, then shut it again. Ooh, this was just sad. The ones that technically _were_ single he didn't believe he had a chance with.

Will frowned and went back to his homework, saying, "Get lost, old man."

"What was that?" Jack icily questioned.

Will cringed and looked up at his father with wide eyes. Quickly he covered, "I-I mean, um, I, uh, would appreciate it if you would leave me to do my homework, please."

"Not perfect, but it was better," Jack said. Will sighed in relied. He'd dodged a bullet there. Jack suddenly dropped a list onto the agent's lap. Will blinked at it. "Names of the old Middleton High cheer squad, the one Kim Possible was a part of. Plenty of single girls _there_, I'll bet."

"You're seriously trying to set me up," Will incredulously said, taking the list and reading through it. "Ex-cheerleaders? Oh please." He frowned at the list, cringed, then added, "But thanks." Jack smirked and ruffled his son's hair, rising. He had propagating to do.

KP

"Dr. D, mail came in," Shego said, entering the lair as she flipped through their things.

"Ooh, the new Hench Co Industries catalogue must be in," Drakken said, quickly taking it from her and opening it up, grinning widely as he flipped through the pages. "What to steal, what to steal?"

"Ever thought about paying retail more often? You know, just to switch things up," Shego asked. She was pretty sure Drakken had used up basically all his strikes with Jack Hench. Pretty soon the business man would be sending a 'bill collector,' cough, cough, a hit man, to 'talk' to her boss.

"But it's so much eviller to steal," Drakken protested.

"Right, right, right, and the cold metal of a gun against your back is just so soothing," Shego sarcastically said.

Drakken stiffened and twitched. Hmm, she had a point. Never mind. He had a lot of leniency with Hench. It wasn't like his stealing was seriously hurting the man's company. Besides, after that whole zombie affair there was an understanding between the survivors. It would leave eventually, but for now it had gained him huge ground with the businessman. "Nrrgh, Shego, just do what I say!" Drakken insisted.

"Whatever," Shego replied, rolling her eyes as her employer flipped through the catalogue.

"Ooh, Jack has quite the lineup this time," Drakken said, impressed. "The man never disappoints. Lamprey Project, the latest death trap. Intriguing."

"Dr. D, he _knows_ what his clients like," Shego said. "It's not that hard to figure out."

Drakken frowned at her then turned back to the catalogue. "Hello, what's _this_?" he said, pointing at a full page ad with a heart shaped ray gun on it. Apparently it was the featured item, because it was really being played up. "Cupid Ray. Turn your enemies into love sick puppies. Their hearts will be yours, literally. Gruesome line, but effective," Drakken remarked. "Love can be a treacherous thing. Shego, I want that ray!"

"Why?" she asked.

"Nrrgh, because I do! I'll figure out the rest later. We're going down to that auction," Drakken replied.

KP

Kim, at her locker, heard her watch beep. She turned it on, saying, "Sitch me, Wade."

"Something big is going down at Hench Co. Jack Hench is auctioning off my Cupid Ray design!" Wade exclaimed.

"Fight with Betty?" Kim wryly joked.

"Actually yes, but that's not Jack's reason for doing this," Wade replied, having gotten that bit of intel on the fight from the mouth of Will Du himself.

"It's a money thing, no big. What could a harmless Cupid Ray do?" Kim asked.

"In the wrong hands? You really want to know?" Wade asked. Kim twitched, numerous thoughts of what that could possibly mean coming to her mind. Of course none of them would have been the thoughts _Wade_ was probably thinking, thank goodness for childish naivety, but still. She was getting her own picture of how bad this could be.

"All right, Ron and I'll check it out," Kim agreed.

"With Team Possible?" Wade asked.

"Why not?" Kim replied, smiling and shrugging. Hirotaka, Monique, Amelia, and Yori—well, she guessed Fukushima too, though a few of them still had doubts about him, not so much her as Ron, Monique, and Yori—would probably like to get out and do some missioning.

"Good luck Kim," Wade said. Kim turned off the watch, smiling. This would be fun. Finally, a regular good old fashioned mission.


	3. Misfire

_**Kim Possible: Cupid Struck Stupid**_

(A/N: Second up today. Now I get to have fun, either making characters go out of character or keeping them in character while at the same time not.)

Misfire

Clapping rang through the auditorium, though no one was actually clapping. They never did. Jack stood in front of them, the serpentine glint shining in his eyes. Tiffany was next to him smiling the winning grin that made her such a valuable asset and employee, especially when it came to showcasing his devices. Of course that grin had also been one of the sources of the argument he'd had with his wife.

"Welcome one and all. We have quite the lineup to display for you today," Jack said.

"Do we ever, Jack," Tiffany chimed. "This may be our best sale yet."

"Doesn't she say that for _every_ sale?" Monkey Fist muttered to Killigan, whom he was sitting next to.

"Aye," Killigan agreed. "Where es Drakken? He _never_ misses Hench's auctions."

"I have no clue," Monkey Fist replied, curiously looking around for their ally. "But when Drew Lipsky is missing at an event in which Henchco products are involved, it's never good for Jack Hench."

KP

Kim crawled through the vent above the sale, Ron and Rufus behind her. Yori followed closely. "Ready?" Kim whispered to them.

"Monique and Amelia in the getaway car, Fukushima and Hirotaka keep an eye on the villains from the roof beams right above them, we're golden," Ron answered. "Nothing can go wrong."

"Jinxed it," Rufus chattered, poking his head up worriedly.

"Rufus-San, there is no such thing as a jinx," Yori said, giggling at the rodent. Rufus blinked back at her with wide eyes, hoping she was right.

"Shh, we're right above it," Kim whispered, pointing down. The other two joined her at the vent, peering down on the room filled with villains.

"Now we wait," Ron said, grinning.

KP

The villains were clapping _now_, having observed the Lamprey Project in action on a test dummy. "That's a good one," Gemini remarked to Professor Dementor.

"I vant zat PROJECT!" Dementor exclaimed.

"That isn't even the best part," Jack said, having heard him. "Now for our main feature. Evocative of Senor Senior's Valentine's Day scheme, and courtesy of Kim Possible's techno guru, Henchco presents, for your enjoyment, the Cupid Ray!"

The ray was rolled out and the villains oohed. "What's _that_ do, Jack?" Tiffany asked.

"Well Tiffany, reminiscent of the Roman God whose name it wields, just by firing this device a love pheromone will shoot out in the form of a mist. Whoever it catches will immediately become so consumed with passion—either towards the one who first fired it or the first one they lay eyes on while under the effects—that they will virtually melt. Helpless in such a state, they'll be yours to manipulate, yours to control yours to…"

"Hmm, maybe I should try this on _you_, Mr. Hench," Tiffany said. Jack froze, stiffening and paling. The villains laughed. Jack turned to her and frowned, grabbing the device out of her hands.

"Humor aside…" Jack growled lowly. He turned back to the villains, smiling again while holding the ray away from Tiffany. She looked put out. He continued, "Now, the original pheromone mist was only temporary. We here at Hench Co have improved upon the first formula. For your benefit, my friends, this ray now lasts indefinitely, unless an antidote is used. This one." He held up a green vial, grinning. The villains watched, intrigued. "Yours free with each purchase, at least for the first twenty-four hours."

Just then there was a boom, shaking the room. Tiffany fell. The villains all gasped. Jack grabbed his desk to keep from falling and caught his breath, looking over at the intruder. In rode Drakken on his hovercraft, saying, "How about free for _me_?"

"Not again," Hench complained, exasperatedly rolling his eyes.

Shego leapt off of the hover craft and snatched both the ray and antidote from Jack's hands. "Payback time, Jacky boy. Your little trick in that apocalypse wasn't very nice. You know how we hold grudges."

"Shego, let it go!" a voice suddenly exclaimed. The villains all gasped and turned. There stood Kim Possible, backed by Ron and Yori!

KP

"Kim Possible!" DNAmy exclaimed, pointing. "Ooh, you're such a meanie! How rude."

"Do no' worry, lassie. We'll handle the lass," Killigan stated, drawing a golf club and scowling. The rest of the villains rose, growling at Kim and muttering agreements.

"Well, the gang's all here," Kim said dryly, experiencing a sense of déjà vu.

"So is ours," Ron stated. "Ninjas, backup!"

Immediately Hirotaka and Fukushima, dressed in ninja garb, landed on the ground surrounding Shego. With a swift kick and ninja cry, Fukushima knocked her back and snatched the antidote. Hirotaka seized her arm, also with a ninja cry, and spun her around, sending her flying into the audience and crashing into Frugal Lucre. Hirotaka grabbed up the Cupid Ray and the two ninjas threw down smoke pellets, blocking them from sight.

It would have worked, except Hench had a plan. He pressed a button and immediately everything was locked down. The ninjas weren't going anywhere. Sure enough, when the smoke cleared they were standing with Yori, Kim, and Ron looking less than pleased. "All right, this is a setback," Ron remarked.

"Jinxed it," Rufus repeated to Ron, shaking his head.

"Outsider. Of course. Who else?" Fukushima growled lowly.

"Hey, I'm in no mood for your tude, dude. Hey, that rhymes!" Ron exclaimed.

"Get them!" Hench ordered the villains, scowling murderously.

"They'll be the perfect test subjects for the Lamprey Project," Adrena said, wickedly grinning.

KP

Kim, Ron, Yori, Hirotaka, and Fukushima dropped into fighting poses. Instantly they met the attacking villains head on, fighting back and battling for possession of the Cupid Ray and the antidote. "You little brats, always interfering where you have no business interfering," Monkey Fist shot, going head on with Ron.

"Dude, meddling kids, duh," Ron replied. Monkey Fist growled and seized Ron's arm with a foot. He swung and thrust the boy away to the side. Fukushima instantly covered for Ron.

"Now would be a perfectly wonderful time for you to turn your allegiance to me again, you know," Monkey Fist said, dodging the ninja's attacks.

"For a Cupid Ray?" Fukushima incredulously asked. "Master, surely you jest." Monkey Fist found it a little amusing that he hadn't stated he'd never go traitor again, only that he wouldn't turn for a simple Cupid Ray.

"You haven't been keeping up with your training, Fukushima. You're beginning to display some of your old weaknesses," Monkey Fist informed. Fukushima started and blushed. He'd hoped his guardian wouldn't catch on to that. At least he wasn't getting a lecture. Not that Monkey Fist had time right now to play father figure.

Kim and Yori, back to back, were fending off a large majority of the villains and villainesses. Hirotaka was keeping his own pace, finding this more of a casual amusement than any sort of actual threat. He dodged a lineup of bombs shot by Killigan and landed behind the golfer. The ninja tapped the man's shoulder. Killigan spun and gasped. "Hi," Hirotaka greeted. He instantly seized the man's arm and sent Duff flying into a just rising Shego.

Drakken, meanwhile, gaped in shock at the mess going on below him. Tiffany was hiding under the desk and Jack was definitely staying out of the way. The business man immediately hit a button and Drakken gasped. Hench had called for reinforcements! That meant that he and Shego were in trouble, and so was Team Possible. Time to get that device and go. "Nrrgh, enough playing!" Drakken yelled. Instantly he shot out his vines, snatching the ray and the antidote before the heroes could react. They gasped as Drakken grabbed Shego with his vines and headed for the ceiling. Shego grinned and blasted a hole in the roof. Kim shot her hairdryer and followed instantly with Ron, Yori, Fukushima, and Hirotaka right behind her. Monkey Fist and Killigan were quick to take after the heroes. Drakken needed defense, and they would provide it.

KP

The group reached the roof and Kim shot her elastic lipstick at the hovercraft, stopping it in place. Drakken and Shego gasped. "Kim Possible, you think you're all that, but you're not!" Drakken yelled furiously. "Shego, attack!" Shego scowled and leapt down, hands blazing. Immediately she began to fire at them. They nimbly dodged her attacks, going for Drakken. He still held the devices.

Drakken was pressing buttons fervently, trying to find a way out of the goopy mess that the hovercraft was stuck in. When Yori began leaping towards him, though, he stopped and dove out of the way with an alarmed cry. Yori spun and began kicking at him. Drakken, to their surprise, was holding his own relatively well, blocking most of her attacks and tanking out the blows she landed, even her powerful kicks to his chest. Of course, he'd done this same bit with Kim Possible not long ago, during her amnesia episode. He much preferred letting Shego do the grunt work, though.

All at once Monkey Fist and Killigan leapt up. Instantly the nobleman jumped for Yori, taking her off of Drakken's hands. "Ah ha!" Drakken exclaimed. "About time."

"We came as fast as we could, laddie," Killigan defended as he emptied a sack of golf balls and began firing them at the heroes, all of whom struggled to dodge. Well, Hirotaka and Fukushima were having a fairly easy time at it, the others not so much. Yori, busy with Monkey Fist, wasn't dealing with the barrage of explosives.

Drakken snuck towards his hovercraft as Shego and Kim rolled across the roof behind him. He knew Killigan had next to no chance of holding off Ron, Fukushima, and Hirotaka alone, but Monkey Fist's ninjas made the scene just then, and began battling the Freak Stooges X2, as Shego had dubbed the two ninja boys and Ron. Drakken still didn't see the similarities. So okay, the boys constituted a group of three, okay they fought like there was no tomorrow, okay, Ron was basically his clone personality wise, and Fukushima was a mini Monkey Fist, but _those_ three weren't best friends, so there!

Drakken snatched the Cupid Ray and turned, grinning evilly. All at once, though, Ron was there, trying to pull it out of his hands. "Hey! I had it first!" Drakken protested.

"It's not yours!" Ron argued.

"Finders keepers, losers weepers," Drakken childishly replied.

"Give me it!" Ron insisted, equally as childishly.

"No!" Drakken argued.

"Yes!" Ron replied.

"No!" Drakken shot.

"Yes!" Ron yelled.

KP

Monkey Fist had thrown Yori to the ground. He leapt into the air and flipped, coming down at her with every intention of crushing her skull, if possible. Yori rolled easily, though, and spun, delivering a driving kick to Monkey Fist's chin, snapping his head back. He gasped in pain, staggering. At least she hadn't broken his neck. Oh that was it, this girl was going down. He grabbed her leg with a foot and pulled her towards him. Yori turned and blocked the chop he was about to deliver to her throat with a hand. With all her might she threw him back, causing him to stumble and lose his hold on her leg. She leapt up and back flipped away from him. She drew her Tessan, frowning and going into a ninja stance.

He blinked, mouth agape. By the _gods_ she was good. He scowled and leapt at her. She nimbly danced around him, blocking his attacks with her fans. Finally he found an opening to break her defenses. He dropped low and kicked, making her stumble back to the edge of the building with a scream! She caught her balance, though, and smirked at him, slyly winking. He started. Why did she insist on being such a bother to kill? Once again he ran at her. He would _strangle_ her if he had to! If only she would _die_!

"Give me the Ray!" Drakken and Ron were both yelling as they pulled on it together. All at once they fumbled, almost dropping it. Grabbing for it, Drakken's finger accidentally pulled the trigger. They didn't notice the mist spray out. They didn't notice who had been hit by it.

Yori smelled an intoxicating scent and paused, blinking. All at once she began coughing. Monkey Fist grinned, leaping at the opportunity to shove her over the ledge. He raced forward and frowned on smelling something sweet. It wasn't her lotus scent, though, it was something different. He coughed but ignored it. He seized her arms, while she was still catching her breath, and spun her around, throwing her towards the edge!

Monkey Fist looked sharply after her, determined to see her fall. He met the girl's eyes as she staggered. However, the moment he did all his thoughts of harming her fled him, and he felt an overwhelming sense of something… something he'd only ever felt towards power. Love! "Yori," he gasped, eyes becoming afraid and concerned. She screamed as she lost her balance, toppling backwards. "No!" Monkey Fist exclaimed, leaping for the edge.

The others all turned quickly with gasps. Hirotaka went white. "Yori!" he cried.

KP

All at once the Monkey Lord dove over the edge of the roof in front of the shocked eyes of the others. He seized a conveniently placed rope with a foot and caught the ninja, seizing her arms. Her hands automatically went to her saviors arms and she gasped, looking up. Her eyes widened in hope and her heart leapt. Her breath caught in her throat, and she could only gape in awe at her rescuer. "Monkey Fist," she breathed.

"Japan…" he whispered, for truly she _did_ embody that which he so loved… Japan… How had he not seen it _before_? Or _had_ he seen it, just blocked it out? Oh gods have mercy, let the beating of his heart slow down. All he wanted was her. Thoughts of power fled from him in that moment, thoughts of destiny drowned in the deep and beautiful pools that were her eyes. Monkey Fist quickly pulled her back onto the roof. He couldn't let her go. He _wouldn't_. He would sooner die. He would sooner lose his powers and mutation, than lose the young ninja.

KP

"Where are they?" Ron demanded as they all gaped at the ledge in horror. Just then, however, Monkey Fist scrambled back up onto the roof along with Yori. She fell onto her back as he leaned over her, both gasping for breath and looking directly at each other.

Drakken suddenly realized the device had been fired. He gasped so loudly and so deeply his chest cavity could hardly contain his lungs. "What?" the others quickly asked, worried something had happened, like a self-destruct sequence being initiated.

"Oh, this could be very bad," Drakken replied.

"Why?" Kim demanded.

"The Cupid Ray fired! The Cupid Ray fired!" Drakken exclaimed.

"No…" Kim said in horror, along with Shego.

"Drakken, tell me ye' do no' mean…" Killigan began.

"The mist… a pheromone that makes the sufferers become so overcome with passion towards one another they'd drop everything and start getting all… for lack of better words, lovey dovey romantic!" Drakken replied.

"You mean Yori's in love with _Monty_ Freak!?" Ron exclaimed.

"And vice versa," Shego said in disbelief.

"_Wrongsick_!" Ron exclaimed.

"For once, I wholly agree," Shego replied, flabbergasted.

KP

"My little sister is in love with the _Monkey_ Man?!" Hirotaka demanded in shock.

"This may become very disturbing," Fukushima remarked, blinking at the pair.

"Hold on, hold on, we can fix this!" Ron stated. "Where's the antidote?"

Drakken looked around, as did Shego. They gasped on finding it. The vial was shattered on the ground, the last of the cure drying up. "Oh, this very bad now," Drakken said.

"No, no, we can still do something! Jack Hench. He has the antidote, right?" Ron asked, pulling the ray away from Drakken. In the process, however, it sprayed right into Drakken and Shego's faces. The two began coughing violently.

"Ron!" Kim exclaimed.

"No, wait, oh no!" Ron exclaimed.

"Outsider!" Fukushima yelled furiously. "You worthless…" Hirotaka covered his friend's mouth before Fukushima could let out a string of curses in Japanese and English.

"Et was only a matter o' time," Killigan wryly joked, watching as Drakken and Shego's eyes fell on each other.

KP

Almost immediately both gazes became star struck. "Drakken," Shego sighed, blinking up at him then giggling bashfully.

"Shego," Drakken breathed. He reached out and took his sidekick into his arms, laughing and spinning her around as if they were in a dream. The two gazed adoringly into each other's eyes and kissed right there in front of them all.

"Sick and wrong," Ron squeaked. "Shego doesn't go this much out of character!"

"She does when she has been sprayed directly with a love mist! At least there was some distance between the pheromone and Monkey Fist and Yori," Hirotaka said. They weren't completely out of character. He looked back towards his sister and his mouth dropped. She was passionately kissing the Monkey King! "Yori!" he yelled.

Yori gasped and looked quickly back. Immediately she staggered up with a blushing Monkey Fist. Her skin a deep red, she adjusted the sleeve of her ninja outfit, which he had been in the process of sliding down her arm. "Hirotaka, we were simply…" she began. Seeing her brother's infuriated and shocked expression, though, she dropped it.

"Remember, brother, this is not her," Fukushima assured Hirotaka. Hirotaka scowled but made himself calm down. Yori quickly went to her brother's side. She turned, casting a desperate and longing look back at Monkey Fist. He looked just as enraptured and consumed, eyes filled with love and adoration.

"Ah will take Drakken, Monkey Fist, and Shego home," Killigan stated.

"And I'll talk to Hench about getting us an antidote," Kim declared.

"What? You wish to separate me from her?" Monkey Fist asked, expression suddenly becoming worried and fearful. Yori gasped, covering her mouth, eyes filling with dismay.

"Laddie, et's far yer own good," Killigan said, catching the possessiveness and misery in his friend's eyes.

"No, I will not be taken away from Yori!" Monkey Fist insisted. "To never look into her eyes again…" He turned longingly to the ninja girl, who had tears of fear in her eyes. "I would die of a broken heart…" he finished adoringly. Hirotaka looked ready to murder, but he was exercising unbelievable control.

"You will not have her!" Hirotaka shouted.

"I love your sister with my whole heart and soul and mind. You will _not_ keep me from her! I wish only for your blessing. If I must, though, I will fight to the death for the possession of she whom I love so well. On the other hand, I _do_ like simply taking what I want," Monkey Fist threatened. Yori felt herself melting at the possessive and obsessive words. She believed she should have been frightened, but her heart _begged_ the man to draw her away with him.

KP

Hirotaka looked ready to reply when suddenly they heard Drakken say, "Oh Shego, how could I have been so _blind_?"

"Oh Drew," she breathed, pulling him into an adoring kiss, which he returned. She drew back, happiness in her eyes, and said, "How could I have ever turned my back on you? How could I have ever thought to _be_ with anyone else? Dr. D, all this time I've been so stubborn, so cold, turning my heart to stone. I'd never thought I needed anyone or anything… Until you."

"Wha' es this? A double wedding?" Killigan asked, appalled at the whole scenario.

"You! Give me that!" Kim shot, snatching the Cupid Ray from Ron before he could spray anyone else. "I'll talk to Hench. Surely he'll understand."

"We'll go wi' ye', lass," Killigan agreed.

KP

"Get them! Bring me their heads on a pike!" Jack shouted at his henchmen furiously, pointing at the group who had come up to him. Forget keeping a cool temper. This time they'd gone _too_ far. Sure they'd given him the Cupid Ray back, but they hadn't gotten another word out. He wasn't inclined to hear it.

"Yes, he will understand," Fukushima growled at Kim, scowling. "We have not even been able to _speak_!"

"Jack, ye' do no' know wha'…!" Killigan began. The henchmen were approaching, though. The group had no choice but to run from the building.

"Monique, Amelia, start the Sloth!" Kim cried out. The two looked sharply up and gasped at the scene. Immediately they obeyed. Kim, Ron, Hirotaka, and Fukushima dove inside the car.

Yori was about to follow when Monkey Fist seized her arm and turned her to him, begging, "Come with me."

"Say _what_?" Monique demanded, eyes wide on hearing what he'd said to Yori. Amelia was gaping in disbelief.

Yori looked passed him, pale, then turned to him again. She threw herself into his arms, kissing him desperately and adoringly. Pulling away she stated, "I cannot, for those you are allied with would mean me harm, and those who I am beside will wish you grief. Do not despair, my lord, I will be in your arms once again soon. Please, you must bide your time." He kissed her once again, his embrace so tight it was as if he'd never let her go. He certainly didn't _want_ to. Nonetheless he saw the wisdom in her words and pulled away, bowing low to her.

"Until we again meet," he stated. She bowed back and joined her friends as Monkey Fist sprang towards his banana plane where Killigan, Drakken, and Shego waited.

"Just like Bonnie and Clyde, Dr. D!" Shego exclaimed, grinning excitedly as she flicked a series of switches, her old self coming back through the haze of love, though she was still very much in love with her boss.

"Minus the hail of gunfire," Drakken replied, smirking at her.

"Ach, give et a rest. Ye' sicken me," Killigan stated, rolling his eyes. He immediately started up the plane and the villains vanished. As the Sloth peeled away from the parking lot, and from the villains, Yori looked longingly back and blew a kiss after the aircraft.

"So _what_ just happened here?" Amelia questioned, lost.

"It's a long story," Kim replied. "And you aren't going to believe it."


	4. Love and all That There Stuff

_**Kim Possible: Cupid Struck Stupid**_

(A/N: I'm having too much fun. Dumpling is actually a pet name Drakken used on Shego in one episode. The use of the term Wind Stranger is Coin of Light and Darkness's.)

Love and all That There Stuff

It was the next day, early in the morning. "That girl is sick in the head," Monique remarked as she and Kim watched Yori comb her hair in the mirror, humming softly and obviously thinking about Monkey Fist.

"You can't choose love," Kim replied, trying to sound more optimistic about it. "Well, in this case you can, but still. Besides, it's only a temporary setback. I'll have GJ look into finding Jack Hench's antidote."

"Dr. Director and Will Du?" Monique asked.

"Nailed it," Kim answered, smirking. "One of them has _got_ to be able to get to Mr. Hench," Kim replied.

Just then her Kimmunicator rang. She frowned and picked it up. "What's the sitch?" she asked.

"Big hit on the site, Germany. Priority crisis," Wade said.

"Sounds bad," Monique remarked.

"A bunch of scientists have been kidnapped by Professor Dementor. They need help, stat," Wade said.

"Boy, they ain't the only ones," Monique replied, turning Kim's wrist so Wade could see Yori.

"Oh boy," Wade said, looking worried.

"On the plus side, Hirotaka's been surprisingly calm about it," Kim offered lamely.

"Calm? If you call freaking out calm, yeah," Monique corrected.

"At least he hasn't tried to _assassinate_ Lord Fiske," Kim said.

"Hirotaka is not a cold blooded murderer who kills without honor," Yori said, approaching Monique and Kim. "My brother is a good man."

"I'm not saying he isn't, but if I were him I'd be doing a _lot_ more than riding the wave," Monique said.

"Fukushima is much like you," Yori remarked. "He disapproves greatly; but not for my sake, for Monkey Fist's."

"I'd love to stay and help, but I have a priority mission to take Ron on. Think you can handle things, Monique?" Kim asked. After all, it wasn't _too_ bad of a mission. Love never killed anybody… She frowned on remembering a variety of tragedies in literature and history that ended pretty much the same way. Still, it wasn't _that_ bad… She hoped.

"Kim, I don't have GJ ties. Only time I interacted with them was during the apocalypse incident," Monique replied.

"I already contacted them," Wade said. "Either Will or Betty is going to try and talk to Jack. Just follow their lead and you should be set. No problem."

"Right, no problem," Monique doubtfully said, but then she _did_ have a large network to fall back on. Josh, Tara, Amelia, Hirotaka, Fukushima, Bonnie, to name a few. Oh wait, Bonnie was spending quality time with Junior, as was Zita. Josh was working and Tara was on vacation. Felix was getting work done on his chair. _That_ cut it back significantly. At least she still had Fukushima, Hirotaka, and Amelia, though.

KP

"You are doing precious little to remedy this," Fukushima said to Hirotaka, frowning at his friend as they sat at a table outside of a little sushi bar near a lake, albeit the sushi was subpar, at best. And really, who were they kidding with the wasabi sauce?

"What am I to do, Fukushima? Kill my sister? Kill Monkey Fist?" Hirotaka replied. "I despise the man, yes, but may the gods take my life if I do not respect him." Hirotaka flicked up a piece of gum, caught it, and began chewing. It was a habit of his, Fukushima knew. Usually brought on when he was feeling completely at ease or simply relaxed. In this case, though, Fukushima felt he was just putting on a front. In reality he was suffering a great deal of stress. Some girls passed by. Hirotaka slyly winked at them, giving his winning and dangerous smirk. They giggled. Fukushima rolled his eyes.

"Have you not thought of the dishonor it would bring upon your family, Yori and Monkey Fist?" Fukushima asked. Hirotaka turned warily back to his friend.

"What dishonor? For her to wed the Ultimate Monkey Master? It would be our family's _great_ honor," Hirotaka said, but Fukushima read in his friend's eyes that Hirotaka was only trying to lie to himself, in case the worst happened and they never got the antidote. Inwardly he just _sensed_ that his friend was panicking.

"It would be an honor indeed, but Monkey Fist is _not_ the Ultimate Monkey Master," Fukushima stated. "He _should_ have been. My guardian _deserved_ that title, _not_ the Outsider… but he chose a dark path, and that path lost him favor in the eyes of the gods; all but one. The Monkey Deity stood by him for a long time. Whether he still does is unknown to me."

"How much do you truly know about the Mystical Monkey Legend?" Hirotaka questioned his friend.

"I know what my mother taught me," Fukushima answered. "She always said that the Wind Stranger would be the Monkey Master, but near the end of her… Near the end of her life, she said little about it, in fact seeming worried and uncertain whenever I dared bring it up. It did not take much to deduce what she had come to believe; that Monkey Fist had forsaken his destiny for the sake of power."

"Do you know if he will regain that title?" Hirotaka asked.

"Perhaps," Fukushima replied. "He will never stop being evil, it will not happen for it is against his very nature, but there may yet be a way for him to salvage his birthright."

"Does Monkey Fist himself know how much you understand of the legend he has for so long pursued?" Hirotaka wondered.

"He believed that I knew of the legend, he was correct, but what I revealed to him was only a _fraction_ of my true understanding," Fukushima replied. "In time I would have given more, but at that point I did not want to trust him." Fukushima noticed his friend's cup was empty. He bowed to Hirotaka and immediately refilled it for him.

KP

Hirotaka frowned. He would think nothing of it, simply a friendly gesture if it were anyone else, except he knew Fukushima's reasons for doing such a thing. It was a way of showing honor and deep respect to one of a higher position than you. Since the day Hirotaka had spared his life, Fukushima had sworn to him a life debt, had sworn to forever be his servant. The older ninja had wanted no part of it. He would _not_ make his fellow ninja, his brother, into a slave. Of course it hadn't deterred Fukushima from his course, but the principle behind it stood.

The younger man wasn't blatant about his self-given status. Showing his own perceived worth through unconcealed servitude such as bowing and other, would horrify Hirotaka. In fact, Fukushima had only publicized his devotion to his friend through what gestures of respect and submissiveness he could manage to get away with. To outwardly proclaim Hirotaka his master, to make himself his friend's slave as he believed he deserved to be, would only hurt the heart of his brother. Instead he would do things as little as retrieving something for Hirotaka when asked. Sometimes he would commit greater actions, such as throwing himself in front of zombie attacks for the sake of his 'owner' and brother. Of course Hirotaka had promptly put a stop to _that_ display once he'd realized that what Fukushima was doing wasn't so much fighting back as protecting him.

"Your loyalty to your guardian drove your treachery. Your caution towards all else perhaps saved your life, and the lives of many others," Hirotaka said.

"My loyalty belongs to you, my allegiance is with you," Fukushima stated.

"You may believe me to be your lord and owner, but I know your heart's loyalty still struggles," Hirotaka declared. "You have _always_ been in allegiance with your guardian. Before me, before Yamanouchi, there was _him_."

"Enough talk, Amelia is coming," Fukushima said, pointing and promptly ignoring the remark.

KP

Amelia smiled, reaching them. "May I join you?" she asked.

"Of course, Amelia," Hirotaka replied, smiling softly at her.

"Perhaps you will stop Hirotaka's wandering eyes," Fukushima teased. Hirotaka started and blushed, shooting a dangerous glare at Fukushima. He didn't see his friend as his slave, but he wasn't above using Fukushima's self-proclaimed status to get him to back off.

"Wandering eyes?" Amelia coldly asked, raising an eyebrow. Hirotaka grinned sheepishly.

"Fukushima…" Hirotaka warned in a growl. "It is not only my eyes that have been wandering."

Fukushima, who had been watching a group of young women in bikinis sunbathing by the lake, turned quickly, eyes wide as if he'd just been caught committing some heinous crime. "My eyes were not wandering!" he insisted.

"Enough you two," Amelia said, breaking apart the argument before it could start. "Anyway, Hirotaka, I got to thinking. That night we went to see that movie, when you couldn't handle it?"

"Fukushima was worse," Hirotaka defended. Fukushima sneered at Hirotaka coldly.

"And I'll probably try it on him _too_, if it works for _you_," Amelia said.

"Wait, what do you speak of?" Hirotaka questioned, now guarded and suspicious.

"I've made an appointment for you to visit a psychiatrist I know," Amelia said. "He's very good."

"A _what_?!" Hirotaka exclaimed. "Amelia, such an action is not necessary!"

"Don't be silly. At least try it," Amelia replied, pouting at him.

Hirotaka twitched. Fukushima silently counted down with his fingers. Hirotaka shifted uncomfortably, just as Fukushima reached one, and replied, "Very well." Nailed it, Fukushima cheered himself.

"Great! I'll go with you, just in case you decide you want to leave. At least you'll have a ride," Amelia said. Hirotaka grimaced in distaste but nodded. Amelia beamed and leaned over, kissing his cheek. She rose and waved, winking at him as she left. He watched after her a long moment.

"Brother, you are weak willed," Fukushima teased.

"Go jump in the lake," Hirotaka retorted.

"Is that an order?" Fukushima questioned, for if it _was_ he would do as his friend and master asked. Hirotaka looked incredulously at him. He _should_ make it one, but no, it wasn't.

KP

"Shego, dumpling, I brought you cocoa moo," Drakken sang, prancing up to Shego and offering her the drink as they all sat in his lair. Rather than staying in a hotel, Monkey Fist and Nanny Nane, who had come along with her son much to Monkey Fist's chagrin, had opted to bunk with Drakken and Shego in their lair. For the most part Nane was never around, usually mingling with Mama Lipsky and drinking tea. Probably swapping stories about their sons too.

"Dr. D, that's so sweet," Shego replied, batting her eyelashes. "You know, all those times that I told you it was ridiculous to call chocolate milk Cocoa Moo… I actually thought it was _adorable_."

"Oh pumpkin, you're absolutely perfect," Drakken said.

"Not as perfect as _you_, Drewbie," Shego answered, nuzzling him and grinning. She purred like a panther and growled. Killigan made a gagging noise and motion. Drakken and Shego shot him annoyed looks before turning back to each other and making 'kissy face' as Shego had once dubbed it. Killigan decided to focus on Monkey Fist, hoping for some respite. Wrong move.

KP

"I cannot be apart from her for much longer," Monkey Fist said, pacing restlessly. His eyes were distressed as he thought of Yori. "I simply _must_ see her again."

"Oh gods, nay again," Killigan groaned. Every few seconds it was Yori this, Yori that, Yori, Yori, Yori!

"You don't know what it's _like_!" Monkey Fist yelled at him. "To be so devotedly and helplessly in love with someone… Oh Monkey Spirits, I fear I shall _die_ without her."

"What's _this_ about being in love?" a shocked voice said from the door. They all turned, gasping. Nane had returned, and she looked intrigued.

"Oh gods help us all," Killigan groaned. Now that _she_ was here, this would just get worse. "Et was an accident!"

"What was? What is all this about love?" Nane asked, eyes fixed on her son as if she were a vulture waiting to swoop down on something. She frowned curiously, though, on spotting Drakken and Shego kissing, Shego with her legs wrapped around her boss as she sat on his lap.

"Cupid Ray issue," Killigan answered, showing the woman the ad.

She glanced at it, uninterested, and replied, "Unimportant. What matters is that _finally_ my Monty is turning his attentions to a _woman_, even if it is not of his own accord." Monkey Fist looked at his mother with wide, desperate, longing, and slightly frightened doe eyes. "Come to mother, dear, tell me who your heart pines for. Nanny will listen."

"Gods help us all," Killigan repeated again, face-palming. No help would be coming from Nanny Nane's direction.

KP

Monkey Fist, obviously bursting with the want to speak, finally blurted, "Mother, she's absolutely perfect in every way! Her body is perfect, her mind is sharp, she is intelligent, independent, brave, and witty. The girl is _breathtaking_, and the way and grace with which she _moves_. Monkey Spirits, _Shego_ fades in her wake! She dances as if she were born to, and her talent and skill and her power, oh _yes_ power, _such_ power… She is the very embodiment of Japan itself. Gods, I feel I will _die_ without her! Mum, I need to be with her, I _must_ be! I cannot stay apart from my lover. If I have to I will steal her away from this land."

Nane, after recovering from the shock of how vehement and certain her son was about this, was suddenly overcome with ecstasy. She grinned widely. Finally, there was hope! "Who, child, who?" she demanded of her boy. "What is her name?"

"Yori, mother, it is Yori whom I love!" Monkey Fist exclaimed, taking his mother's arms and grinning at the woman who gave birth to him.

"Yori! My word, Montgomery," Nane replied. She'd guessed as much, but to actually have him _admit_ it? "Darling, you have made mummsy so _happy_!"

"Et was the Cupid Ray!" Killigan insisted. "Ah'm tellin' ye', et es all en his mind!"

"Hush!" Nane sharply shot, making Duff back off, eyes wide. Oh there was no _way_ any help was coming from his two friends, Shego, or Nane for that matter. "You must go to her, my son. Court her, woo her, and steal her away back to England. Of course I certainly hope you shant abandon _her_ as you did _Setsuka_."

"Never, mother! I can hardly stay away from her. If she cannot be mine, if anything were to separate me from her, I would certainly die of a broken heart, I _know_ I would," Monkey Fist declared.

"And this es ma cue t' leave," Killigan grumbled. He needed help _stat_.


	5. GJ Steps In

_**Kim Possible: Cupid Struck Stupid**_

(A/N: Second up today. I love playing with jealous/naughty Dr. Director and jealous/naughty Jack. It's almost too much fun.)

GJ Steps In

Killigan couldn't believe he was actually desperate enough to come to GJ Headquarters. He was a _criminal_, for Pete's sake! This was practically turning himself _in_. He looked around at the GJ agents, all ready to jump on him at the first sign of an attack. He was almost afraid to _move_. Where was Dr. Director, already? "At ease agents," her voice suddenly said as she entered with Will at her side.

"Ach, _finally_ lassie," Killigan said.

"Duff Killigan. What prompts a villain to come to GJ for help?" she asked.

"The Cupid Ray," Killigan replied. Betty and Will's eyes instantly lit up. Good, they knew what had happened, Killigan determined.

"Come in, Mr. Killigan," Betty Director said, nodding to the man.

KP

Betty, Will, and Duff sat in the conference room. "We're well aware of the Cupid Ray incident," Dr. Director informed the golfer.

"Via Wade Lode, we understand that Drakken and Shego, as well as Monkey Fist and Yori, were hit by the mist, is that correct?" Will asked.

"Aye, and et's bad," Killigan replied.

"Next question. Why should we _care_?" Will deadpanned.

"William!" Dr. Director shot, horrified at her son's question.

"What? They're villains! The only one who isn't is Yori," Will defended.

"Just for that remark, guess who'll be helping the Mad Golfer, Agent Du," Dr. Director snapped.

"Wait, what?! No!" Will protested.

"You will help them and you will _not_ complain about it, young man," Betty said.

"Aye, roll over far mommy, laddie," Killigan taunted, grinning cruelly at the boy.

"Mom, I can't…" Will began.

"No arguments. It's settled," Betty stated. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'll leave you both to your own devices. I need to try and speak to Jack about the antidote, and I'll have to talk to Tiffany too."

"The blonde assistant?" Killigan asked.

"We've been monitoring her for some time" Betty said, setting up a series of photos to play out on the screen.

"_Mom's_ been monitoring her a long time," Will teased. Betty shot a dangerous glare at him. The boy knew perfectly well that wasn't so. It _was_ protocol. It just happened to have the added benefit of keeping tabs on the woman who flirted shamelessly with her husband on a daily basis. Will cringed and backed off.

KP

Continuing, once sure her son wouldn't interrupt anymore, Betty said, "She works in close proximity with Jack, which means she likely has Intel on any illegal doing's Hench participates in. We _know_ he's breaking the law, we just have nothing to pin on him, no evidence, anything. Even before he knew I was a GJ agent, even after we were married, never once did he flat out tell me that he dealt in illegal circles. All the evidence we _do_ have is here-say, circumstantial."

"Yer married t' the man and still tryin' t' bring him down?" Killigan incredulously asked.

"I have a job to do, Mr. Killigan," Betty replied.

"Not that she'd _tell_ anyone if she _did_ find anything," Will bit.

"One more time, Agent Du, one more time," Betty warned. Will looked terrified and instantly shut up.

"Tha' Tiffany and Jack make a cute couple," Killigan said. "Hardly a photo o' Hench wi'out his lovely assistant." The golfer looked at Betty, eager to see her reaction. Betty blinked at him, eyes wide, then turned back to the screen, suddenly seeming uneasy. "Oh look, a kiss on the cheek," Killigan pointed out, pushing it further and playing with her reactions.

"Typical," Will grumbled, frowning at his father's picture, Jack with his lips on the cheek of a woman who wasn't his mother. No, no, he needed to stop that sort of thinking. Betty shifted uncomfortably and shut down the photo screen, frowning at Killigan. She wasn't jumping at the bait.

"Good luck Killigan, Agent Du," Betty said.

"Dr. Director, um, what's for supper?" Will asked.

"There are leftovers in the fridge, honey. Heat them up if I'm not back until late," Betty said.

"Wha' d' ye' expect t' be doin' t' yer husband, lass?" Killigan hinted, eyes glittering mischievously. "Intensive interrogation?" Betty blushed hotly. Will looked horrified, mouth dropped and eyes wide. Mental pictures, mental picture, sick and wrong, ew! Betty glared icily at the golfer. She harrumphed and left without another word.

"Have ye' been told o' the birds and the bees, lad?" Killigan asked Will, smirking coldly. "When a mommy and a daddy love…"

"Shut up!" Will barked sharply. Killigan snickered and followed the now agitated young man.

KP

Tiffany sat on the couch in Jack's office, still shaken after the villain incident at the auction. She was crying, of course. Jack knew she was quite the drama queen. She'd come into his office babbling about how terrified and worried she'd been at the auction, thinking that something really bad was going to happen and steadily working herself into a hysteria. Whether it was faked or not was debatable. He'd taken her arms and shaken her until she stopped talking. He'd let her stay in his office. Biggest-mistake-ever.

"Oh Jack, you're so good to me," Tiffany said, dabbing at her eyes.

Jack glanced warily up and smirked, impersonally replying, "Tiffany, you know I make sure to treat _all_ my employees well." At least, as well as could be expected from him.

"I know, but it actually _means_ something to _me_," she said, smiling sweetly at him. "You're the only man I've ever worked for who hasn't tried to make a move on me, or grab my backside. I respect that. I'm grateful for it."

"Honey, I'm a married man," Jack said.

"All the good men are taken," she pouted.

"Trust me, Tiff, I'm _not_ a good man," Jack said. And if she knew even a _fraction_ of the things he'd done, she'd get that idea pretty quickly.

"You are to _me_," she cooed. He paused and glanced up at her with a warning glare. Back off, Tiffany, he silently cautioned.

Jack printed off a document and went to the couch, sitting next to her. "Look over these sales pitches and tell me what you think."

Tiffany frowned but obeyed, taking the paper and reading through. She smiled, handing it back. "They're perfect, Jack," she said. "Everything you do is perfect."

"Well, I wouldn't say _perfect_," he answered. Okay, maybe he would. "I was going for something a little different," he added, proudly smirking.

"I can show you something _really_ different," she whispered into his ear. He started. Before he could even gasp she'd leapt into him, throwing him back onto the couch and crushing his lips with hers. Her legs straddled his body, holding him beneath her and causing a variety of bodily reactions to happen that he _really_ didn't want to deal with right now. He was too shocked to even move to push her off, his eyes wide. That cost him about two seconds later when the door opened and he heard a gasp. He went white. Betty!

KP

Betty had snuck into Henchco, it was after closing after all, and made her way towards her husband's office. She smirked, wondering what his reaction to _this_ surprise would be. She opened the door and gasped, paling. There was her husband beneath another woman and kissing her! "Jack?" she asked, voice filled with shock and hurt.

Tiffany quickly looked up at her. At least the woman had the decency to blush, Betty told herself. Jack shoved the blond off of him and leapt up, exclaiming, "Betty, this isn't what it looks like!"

She shook her head, feeling tears in her eyes. "Don't even," she hissed, turning and quickly leaving.

"Betty!" Jack called, instantly hurrying after her. She didn't stop until he'd grabbed her and turned her. With a furious scream she went to slap him, but even _now_… she simply couldn't bring herself to do so. Hand quaking she lowered it and sobbed.

"How could you?" she demanded, looking at the ground and refusing to meet his eyes.

"I-I didn't," he replied, still shaken by the incident. "Please, baby, I wouldn't _do_ that to you!" She bit her lower lip and looked to the side. With every incident like this she came upon she doubted his words more and more. She was nothing if not understanding, though, so she would hear him out… yet again. This spiel was getting old, though, and quick. "I'm not going to ask you to hear me out, but dang it Betty, she means _nothing_ to me!"

She looked angrily up at him. She believed him, really she did, but it wasn't making her feel any better about it. "You didn't see this coming from a mile away, what with the late nights and the close working relationship, and the dinners?" she asked.

"Look, I _know_ you don't believe me, and I get _why_. You've caught me in bad situations so often before. It's always basically the same story, and each time I give it you lose your trust more and more. I'll be the first to admit that there's nothing I can say. There's no use in apologizing, no use in promising it won't happen again," he said.

"I've given you the benefit of the doubt time after time, but Jack, this needs to stop," she stated flat out. He cringed. Oh she was tough when she wanted to be. But it was _more_ than fair.

"All right; no more dinners or lunches, no late nights with her in the office," he promised. If she tried to stay he'd be more forceful in kicking her out. Asking politely hadn't seemed to be getting the job done. "From now on it won't happen, not any longer." Tiffany approached them just then, looking annoyed with Betty. Betty frowned at her rival coldly but said nothing. She was a grown woman. She wouldn't start a cat fight.

"His body is quite reactive," Tiffany remarked. Put out that Betty didn't try to pick a fight, she decided to attack that weak point. Jack blushed deeply, eyes widening. Betty looked ready to slap the other woman, immediately catching on to the meaning, but with remarkable self-restraint she controlled herself.

"Get out!" Jack yelled at Tiffany. Tiffany harrumphed and calmly left.

KP

Jack turned back to Betty and questioned, trying to calm down, "Why did you come here tonight?"

"It's about the Cupid Ray," she replied. Instantly she saw him shutting off, features becoming hard and angry. Apparently the battle that had broken out over the device had put him in a bad temper.

"Forget it," he replied.

"Jack, they…" she began.

"Forget it!" he shot.

"You don't even know what happened!" she argued.

"They tried to steal from me, they got run out," Jack stated.

"Drakken, Shego, Monkey Fist, and Yori were shot by it! They need the antidote!" Betty said.

Jack blinked blankly at her, trying to comprehend he'd actually just heard that. "Excuse me?" he asked.

"They-got-hit by it," Betty articulated.

Jack was silent. After a long moment he said, "They stole the antidote too."

"It shattered on the ground," she replied.

"It _what_?!" he shot. "Betty, that was the only one the boys down in Research and Development had made up so _far_! It took _days_ to perfect!"

"_Days_?" she asked, eyes wide.

"And the ingredients used were rare, only found in a few locations around the world," Jack stated. "We weren't _ready_ to go into full out production yet."

KP

Betty was quiet, digesting this news and obviously thinking. "And you know where those ingredient locations are?" she finally asked.

"Well of course I do. Wait…" Jack said, trailing off. Had she just hinted that… He saw the look in her eyes and his own widened. "No. No, no, no! Forget it! _Let_ Drakken and Shego stay in love, for all I care. Everyone knew it was going to happen _anyway_."

"What about Lord Montgomery Fiske and Yori?" Betty asked.

"What _about_ them?" Jack asked.

"You sound just like Will!" Betty shot. "Jack, the GJ agent on this case might need your help."

"Wait, who's the GJ Agent?" Jack asked. If it was a rival for his wife's affections, the man wouldn't come back _alive_. That he promised.

"It's Will," Betty stated, and Jack's eyes widened. Okay, so his son _was_ technically a rival for his wife's affections, in fact Will left _him_ in the _dust_, but the boy didn't count so the promise was null and void. "Agent Du is working with Killigan to fix this mess, under GJ surveillance, of course," Betty replied.

"You want me to work with Duff Killigan and my kid?" Jack incredulously asked.

"Think of it as father son bonding time, with a third wheel," Betty offered.

"Traipsing through jungles, arctic tundra, and deserts looking for rare ingredients sounds like a blast. Thanks, but I have people to do the grunt work for me," Jack said.

"You can't handle it, old timer?" she asked, smiling teasingly and challengingly at him.

KP

Jack started. Oh she did _not_ just pull the old timer card. "You didn't just go there," he said.

"Old-Timer," she repeated, tapping his nose and smirking wickedly.

He seized her around the waist and pulled her close, huskily saying into her ear, "An old timer couldn't handle a _fraction_ of the things I can do to you."

She blushed, eyes sparkling. "A proposition?" she asked, playing naïve.

"Let's go with that," he answered.

"Very well. If you agree to go along with Will and Killigan, baby I'll show you things you've never even _experienced_ yet," she answered.

His eyes widened. "Deal," he instantly said. He could leave his office as it was tonight. She laughed and pulled him out of the building quickly.


	6. The Greatest Fail of All Time

_**Kim Possible: Cupid Struck Stupid**_

(A/N: Third up today, and last one for today as I haven't even started the next chapter. This one is pretty well all comedy, with a brief psychiatric interlude, more serious than other parts but still funny, and a brief romantic interlude that is again a little more serious than the rest of the chapter, although still alluding to elements of humor. It's fun to exaggerate reactions.)

The Greatest Fail of All Time

"I do not _need_ a psychologist," Hirotaka reluctantly insisted.

"Trust me, it'll be good for you," Amelia assured. Hirotaka moaned. Somehow he doubted it.

"Amelia, I do not trust their mind games," Hirotaka said.

"I promise, if you don't think it's helping we'll leave," she said.

"I do not like it," he stated, a little nervous about this.

"Think of the fun you could have, playing with _his_ mind," Amelia tempted. Hirotaka blinked then smirked. She had a point. If the psychiatrist didn't impress, he could have his own fun with the man. As long as he didn't make himself sound insane, he should be fine.

KP

"Lay back, Hirotaka, relax," the doctor said.

"Right, relax," Hirotaka replied, laying back.

"Now I want you to empty your mind," the doctor ordered.

Hirotaka obeyed, closing his eyes. "Now what?" he wondered.

"I'm going to show you a series of ink blots. Tell me what you see," the man told him.

Hirotaka blinked doubtfully at the doctor but let it go. The psychiatrist held out on of the blots. "Ink," Hirotaka said. The psychiatrist blinked blankly at him, cringed, then held out another. "Ink," Hirotaka said again. What was he _supposed_ to see, he wondered?

"All right, try to see images in the ink," the man declared. He showed a third.

Hirotaka looked at it a long moment, trying to see these 'images' that were supposedly in them. "All I see is…" the boy began.

"Don't say ink!" the doctor ordered. "Look harder."

Hirotaka sighed. This was going to be a _long_ session. He tried hard to see pictures again. "I see nothing," he stated.

"Try again," the man prompted. The Asian saw _nothing_? That could be promising, depending on what else he learned about the young man in future.

Hirotaka looked again. Finally he decided to simply say what came to his mind first. "Ninjas," he declared.

"Good, we're getting somewhere. And now?" the doctor asked, bringing out another.

"Honor and tradition." The man blinked and looked at the ink blots. What could possibly embody _that_? He showed another to the boy. "Fate and destiny," Hirotaka declared. His eyes became troubled and he added, "It is all bleak and very disturbing."

"Mm hmm," the man said, putting the blots away. This would really be quite fascinating, and challenging.

KP

Yori lay wide awake in her room, gazing up at the ceiling. She couldn't get her mind off of Monkey Fist. His image was the only one she saw. His body she longed to have next to her, warming her. Immortals pity her and send to her the Monkey King. She felt a sudden breeze and looked over at the window. The curtains were blowing. Strange, she didn't recall opening the window. She sat up, but just then a gust blew, parting the curtain, and she caught her breath.

In the window crouched the figure of a man. Not just any man, but _him_. "Monkey Fist," she breathed.

He tilted his head slightly, watching her. After a moment he entered the room and approached her determinedly. He sat on her bed and drew her close to his body. She returned the embrace adoringly. "I have come back," he whispered to her.

"Never leave," she begged, relishing the feel of his arms around her body. He drew back, looking into her eyes, and kissed her lips firmly, lovingly. She moaned into his mouth, melting in his arms. Her lips were as sweet as honey. He'd never really allowed himself to experience her kiss before, usually too shocked to react.

"Oh gods," he groaned as she pulled back. Immediately he took her lips again. May they never part, he begged. Oh please, let them never part. "I _love_ you," he broke long enough to breathe. "Watashi wa anata o aishite."

"Watashi wa anata o aishite," she replied. I love you…

KP

Neither of them were aware of at what point they had lain back on the bed, him above her and nuzzling her softly, stroking her cheek. "Come away with me," he begged.

"Divines know how I wish to, my lord, but without my brother's blessing, I cannot," she answered.

"_Forget_ your brother. I will not _survive_ without you," he vehemently stated.

"What of my sister, little Hana? The weapon you so wish to possess," she replied.

"I wish to possess _you_," he insisted. "Ah Japan, if I must I will steal you away from this place, from this land. _No_ one will stop me. Be with me, Yori, _be_ with me my love."

She sobbed, kissing him yet again. It seemed, she realized, that she could hardly bear to stay away from his lips. Part of her said this was wrong, for he was her enemy. They both knew they had been struck by the Cupid Ray, that this was just… not right… But for some reason they didn't care. Of course, it was because of the mist dulling their senses, it had to be, but they just didn't care. "You must ask my brother," Yori replied.

"I don't _care_ for your brother's permission! Long have I loved you, Japan. I will have you for my _wife_! Anata wa watashi to kekkondeshou, Yori." Will you marry me, Yori… Oh gods, he'd just asked her to _marry_ him! "Marry me Japan," he begged desperately again, and part of him was kicking himself and screaming at him to shut up, the part that was still, well, _him_. It was drowned out by all else, though, as if he were drunk with love.

"Oh gods!" she exclaimed. "Hai, hai, watashi wa anata to kekkon suru! Watashi wa anata to kekkon suru!" Yes, yes, I will marry you. I will marry you… Immortals, what words had just departed her _mouth_? What had she just vowed? Part of her told her this was all a lie, the part that knew it really _was_, but that part was overcome by all else.

KP

Monkey Fist was suddenly kissing her again, passionately and desperately. Neither of them could register, for a moment, what was happening. By the time their minds caught up to the situation, they were both partly undressed. His shirt, gone now, showcased his every toned muscle. She, for her part, lay before him naked down to the waist. He kissed her chest softly, adoringly, gently stroking her side and sometimes found its way up to her collar bone. She shivered in the embrace and gasped as he softly kissed the side of her neck.

Part of her begged her to stop, for it knew that this… this was not supposed to happen. She wanted to ignore it, to block it out, but then it called to her, screaming that this was not honorable. This would shame her family; for her to lie with a man before they had been _wed_? It was _unthinkable_ on her part. "No… not now," she finally whispered, though the words were so, _so_ difficult to get out.

He paused, looking down at her in hurt and confusion before suddenly catching on, his eyes widening in realization. What of her honor? What of the honor of her _family_? He would not shame his future bride. But he had waited so long already. No, he could wait a little more. He sighed, obviously annoyed, but then nodded. He would respect her wishes. Gently he bent, kissing her forehead as she sat up, covering her chest with the blankets and looking miserable and put out at the delay.

KP

All at once there was a knock at the door. "Yori?" a voice called. Monkey Fist and Yori gasped, quickly looking over.

"Monique!" Yori exclaimed, pale.

"You okay in there, girl?" Monique asked. Neither Monkey Fist nor Yori dared move for fear she would hear.

"I-I am fine," Yori answered.

"You sure?" Monique replied. "I heard a voice."

"I am fine!" Yori insisted desperately.

"Yori, I have with me a package that has come for you from the college," Hirotaka's voice suddenly said. "I will bring it inside."

KP

Monkey Fist almost let out a monkey shriek. He managed to refrain but almost replaced the shriek with a string of curses. He bit his tongue before he could, managing to only mouth them out as ungentlemanly as it was. Needless to say, he was panicked, and panicked was the understatement of the millennia. If Hirotaka caught him in _this_ position with _his_ sister, he was a dead man. In fact, he was dead _yesterday_; no he was dead a _week_ ago; no, he was dead a year or _more_ ago.

Yori looked ill and terrified, apparently realizing this as well. "I am not dressed!" she practically shrieked, throwing a paper weight at the door reflexively.

"Yori?!" Hirotaka exclaimed, alarmed at the tone and at the crash against the door.

"What was _that_ for?" Monkey Fist hissed, wondering why she'd thrown the paper weight in the _first_ place.

"I-I lost myself," she answered, flustered. "Quickly, you must leave." She shoved Monkey Fist from the bed. She'd hoped he would catch himself without falling. Wrong. He tripped and cried out in pain before he could stop himself.

"That was a male voice inside!" Fukushima's voice suddenly exclaimed. Him _too_?! Monkey Fist gasped, going as white as a sheet. Oh this was _not_ good. He was dead before this universe had come to _be_!

"Yori, we're coming in!" Amelia called as Monkey Fist pulled himself back up with the bed; and just in line with his luck tripping and falling back _onto_ it.

KP

The door was kicked open the next instant. Hirotaka, Amelia, Fukushima, and Monique all burst inside and froze, mouths dropping. Monkey Fist and Yori quickly looked over and went white, Yori still holding up the blanket and Monkey Fist still shirtless. "Oh sh…oot" Monkey Fist said, managing to correct himself.

"What is _happening_ here?!" Hirotaka almost screamed, suddenly feeling fury overtaking him as he scowled murderously at the Monkey Master.

"We're, um, getting better acquainted," Monkey Fist lamely covered.

Yori blinked blankly and fell back on the bed, covering her face as she said in exasperation, "Oh gods." Getting better _acquainted_? Really?

"_What_?!" Monkey Fist shot in defense. "I hardly heard _you_ coming up with anything."

"Bet-Better a-acquainted?" Hirotaka asked in barely suppressed rage. He began to laugh, but Monkey Fist _highly_ doubted it was meant to be a humorous laugh.

"H-Hirotaka, c-calm yourself," Fukushima nervously said, backing away. Monkey Fist almost began laughing insanely _himself_. If _Fukushima_ was backing away and stammering… well, enough said.

"C-calm? I-I am calm," Hirotaka said, suddenly cutting the laugh off, eyes glittering as he glared at Monkey Fist, body shaking in anger.

Monkey Fist rose cautiously, grabbing his shirt. He didn't dare put it on. Somehow he knew that if he took his eyes off of Hirotaka for even a second he would die. No exaggeration _about_ it, he would die. "Nothing happened!" Yori exclaimed. "It-it was about to, but we stopped ourselves, brother. I would not shame my family's name." Apparently _Monkey_ Fist was helpless to say anything. Naturally, it was her honor to try and defend him. She could have laughed at herself. The gods _themselves_ wouldn't be able to pry Hirotaka from Monkey Fist if her brother got his hands on him.

"Will it by any chance save my life if I tell you we're engaged?" Monkey Fist lamely asked.

"Monkey Fist!" Yori shot in horror. Bad, bad, _bad_ move. She'd done what she could now. The Monkey Lord had screwed up badly, and this was officially between him and the gods that would pity the man Hirotaka's wrath enough to save him. She could do nothing more.

KP

Hirotaka blinked blankly. After a long moment he asked icily, "_What_?"

"Master, may the _gods_ pity you," Fukushima groaned to Monkey Fist, helplessly looking at his guardian and shrugging. "_Pray_ the Yono catches you before Hirotaka does."

"_What_?!" Monkey Fist shot.

Fukushima showed no signs of having exaggerated. In fact, the boy glanced at his friend's blank expression then turned back to Monkey Fist, adding, "Pray _fervently_… In fact, call upon every deity you have heard of in your _life_."

"The Yono?" Hirotaka asked, voice entirely _too_ calm, casual, and laid back to be completely safe. "The Yono will be the _least_ of his worries. The Yono will be torn to _shreds_ if he dares step between me and _him_."

"Now, Hirotaka, let us not fall to barbarism. Think this through, _carefully_," Monkey Fist tensely said, backing away, now terrified. Why he was terrified he didn't know. _He_ was the one with the _monkey_ powers. Look at what Stoppable had done to the Lowardians _without_ practice. Somehow, though, he sensed the Lowardians would pale in comparison to Hirotaka, when riled up.

"I am thinking. I am thinking _very_ carefully," Hirotaka replied. "I am pondering whether to tear out your entrails or dismember you."

"Of course you are," Monkey Fist whimpered nervously. Actually, given the circumstances the choices he'd been given were _more_ than fair. Much, much, _much_ more than fair. In fact, he pondered thanking him. Even now he was likening the young man to an angel of mercy for only thinking about _those_ two methods of execution. Now was _definitely_ not the occasion to ask permission to marry his sister. For the first time, since being hit by the Cupid Ray, he felt something other than love. Right now all he felt was, as already established, pure, unbridled, terror.

"Hiro, dude, you're scaring us," Monique said nervously.

"Hirotaka, maybe you should take some, uh, alone time?" Amelia timidly asked.

"I will," he replied. "As soon as I have washed the blood off of my hands."

"What blood? He ain't dead," Monique tightly said.

"What are you speaking of, Monique? I killed this man before the universe came to _be_," Hirotaka replied.

"Oh rot," Monkey Fist said. All at once Hirotaka was across the room. Monkey Fist let out a monkey shriek of terror and literally leapt out the window, Hirotaka hot on his tail. Yori gasped and leapt up, being sure she was still covered. She raced to the window and looked out in horror. Monkey Fist, fleeing in terror, was only millimeters beyond Hirotaka's grasp.

KP

"This is bad," Amelia said, looking on in disbelief as she, Monique, and Fukushima joined Yori at the window.

Fukushima shrugged, unconcerned, and said, "He will escape." They heard a cry of pain, just then, and multiple screams for help. They cringed, looking out the window. They gasped and closed their eyes, hardly peeking out to watch what was unfolding.

"Is it natural to be able to _bend_ like that?" Monique asked.

"Who are you talking about, Hirotaka or Monkey Fist?" Amelia asked, because both men pretty much looked like a pair of contortionists putting on the greatest and most physics defying show of all time.

"I will fix this, do not worry!" Fukushima declared. Instantly he leapt out of the window and raced to help.

Monique and Amelia turned to Yori, eyes curious. Yori blinked and withered. "What?" she asked, playing naïve.

"So… how far did it go?" Amelia asked.

"Nowhere!" Yori exclaimed instantly. "It very nearly did, but I did not allow it to further itself."

"Next question, _engaged_?! Girl, you know how _wrong_ that is? On another note, when's the wedding? Ooh, are me and Kim bridesmaids? Is bridesmaids even _part_ of your culture?" Monique asked in quick succession. Yori blinked at them and looked out the window. The wedding would be never, if some deity didn't pity Monkey Fist soon, and if Fukushima couldn't pry Hirotaka from off of the Monkey Master. The rest of the questions would have to wait to be answered until Monkey Fist's fate was determined between the three males.


	7. Gatherers

_**Kim Possible: Cupid Struck Stupid**_

(A/N: Title alludes to the ones gathering the ingredients. There will likely be more than one chapter up today.)

Gatherers

"Oh no, you _can't_ be serious," Will groaned, staring at the man his mother presented to him. Jack looked annoyed with the whole thing, albeit flushed. Will never, ever, _ever_, wanted to know why his father was so flushed and dishevelled, or his mother for that matter. He never wanted to even _think_ about why Jack had come in looking as if he'd been walking on a cloud, or why Betty had looked like a vixen, smirking conspiratorially to herself while fixing her clothing.

"Will, your father knows where the ingredients we need _are_. He'll be your guide, the best one you'll get. Besides, I don't like the idea of sending you on a mission alone with a villain. He'll be there to act as a buffer," Dr. Director replied.

"But mom…" Will began.

"What did I say about buts?" Betty warned. Will fell silent, glaring at his father angrily, put out.

"Can you keep _up_, old man?" Will demanded.

"Oh you'd better _believe_ he can," Betty said, smirking dreamily.

"I could have gone on and on," he growled, wrapping his arm around her waist and nuzzling her while grinning. Will looked appalled, mouth agape.

"The way yer actin', lassie, Ah would guess tha' the endurance and stamina he possesses would leave yer wee child en the dust," Killigan remarked to Betty, grinning coldly at a dumbfounded Will.

"Shut up, shut up, all of you shut up! No more mental images, no more! I _beg_ you!" Will pled, snapping out of it and falling to his knees, literally begging his parents and Killigan not to talk mature adult talk around him.

"Oops," Betty said, cringing. Okay, perhaps they'd been a little… obvious about it.

"Right. Come on, son, we're scavenger hunting," Jack stated, placing a hand on Will's shoulder and helping the boy up. Will looked vulnerably up at his father.

"No more adult discussion?" Will asked.

"No more," Jack promised, smirking.

"Okay, I guess," Will agreed, still looking uncertain.

"_He_ will no' talk, but _Ah_ will," Killigan said.

"Fair warning, Mr. Killigan, don't push your luck," Jack warned, smiling cordially though his eyes were glittering dangerously cold. Killigan shrugged. No promises, but he would definitely have to be careful.

KP

Drakken was working on a project, engrossed by it. He never heard the footsteps, but he felt the soft hands drape over his shoulders, and he felt the soft kisses placed on his cheek his head. He froze and shivered, leaning back into the woman standing behind him. "Shego," he murmured softly.

"You've been working on this for hours, Dr. D, take a break," she said.

"Shego, I'm on the verge of a breakthrough," he protested.

"I'll give _you_ something more pleasurable to experiment with," she growled lowly. Drakken shivered again. She was like a panther. The grace of a cat yet the majesty and beauty and power of any measure of things. Yes, definitely a panther. He moaned in pleasure as she kneaded a stress point, making him almost melt.

"Very well, I will explore your hypothesis," he replied, rising and turning to her, pulling her close to his body and grinning. He kissed her softly, at first, but then more passionately. Mmm, he never wanted to stop. She tilted her head to better accommodate his lips and moaned softly.

He pulled back and she, breathless, asked, "Drakken, where did you learn to _kiss_ like that?"

Drakken cringed then admitted, "Err, I'm not sure." She giggled and pulled him close, kissing him again and moving him towards his bedroom. "Um, Shego, what are you doing?" Drakken asked nervously, catching on to what she was doing.

"Relax, Dr. D, just follow my lead," she replied. He whimpered, but the whimper stopped the moment she kissed him again and unbuttoned his lab coat. She pulled him into the bedroom, kicking the door shut. Drakken gasped and drew back, uncertainty and desire in his eyes. She looked at his exposed chest, blinking in shock. "Whoa, Drakken, you've been working out," she remarked, honestly surprised.

Drakken blinked confusedly then looked down. His muscular toning may not have been as obvious as some, but you could at least feel _some_ degree of muscle. Not that he had much, he believed. She spun him around the pushed him down onto the bed. Grinning she leapt on top of him kissing him deeply. She began to removed her black and green cat suit leisurely. "Mmm," he moaned into her mouth, pulling her closer to him. She giggled again, pulling back. He looked up at her, annoyed, but then gasped, annoyance disappearing in an instant on seeing her let the cat suit slip down her arms. "Oh gods," Drakken breathed.

She smiled at him. "You approve," she more stated than asked.

"Shego…" he began, but he couldn't find his voice. She laughed and bent, kissing him again. He suddenly caught up to himself and stopped reacting.

KP

Shego frowned and pulled back, asking, "What?"

"Um, I have a high moral standard?" Drakken answered.

"Yours or your mother's?" Shego asked, annoyed.

Drakken cringed. A little of both, actually. He sighed deeply. He had to be a man here and find the courage to stop. _Gods_ help him with _that_. He sat up and gently took her arms, tenderly letting his hands slip up and down her bare skin. He was satisfied to feel her shiver. He sighed and bent forward, kissing her collarbone then neck. "I love you," he whispered to her.

"So what's the problem?" Shego demanded, feeling herself only getting more and more desperate to feel his body pressed against hers.

"Marry me," he suddenly said.

She caught her breath, all thoughts of intimacy vanishing. After a long moment she asked. "What?"

"Marry me," he repeated.

"Dr. D…" she whispered.

"Oh _please_ say you will," he begged, gazing adoringly into her eyes.

She covered her mouth as he slipped a vine around her finger, forming a ring there. The vine broke off, leaving the flowering engagement band on her hand. She looked up at him, eyes filled with love, and exclaimed, "Yes! Yes, Dr. D, yes!" She threw herself into his arms laughing in delight and kissing him. "Drew, I love you!"

"That's perfect! Quickly, we must inform mother. The wedding takes place as soon as possible!" Drakken exclaimed, beaming at her and leaping up, pulling her with him. Part of him knew this was a bad, bad idea. He knew full well what the Cupid Ray had done to them, throwing them both so out of character that they felt they were only looking down on people who looked like them but _weren't_ them. Yet he didn't care. He just wanted his sidekick! Shego fixed her clothing, seized his hand, pulled him out of the bed, and instantly ran them both towards the hovercraft that waited to take them to Mama Lipsky's house.

KP

"I will rip out your eyes!" Hirotaka screamed at Monkey Fist, literally trying to either claw them out with his fingers or stab them with one of his kunai. Monkey Fist, scowling, fought desperately back. He managed to put the boy beneath him and yank his arm viciously back. Hirotaka cried out in pain and pushed off, flipping and somehow getting them into a position that really couldn't be explained. One of those 'you had to be there' scenes.

"You will give your sister to me or I will take her!" Monkey Fist yelled back, struggling to keep hold of Hirotaka.

"My sister will _never_ be yours!" Hirotaka shouted.

"Oh yes she _will_!" Monkey Fist shot. "Even if I have to _kill_ you."

"Bring out your monkey power in all of its glory and you will not defeat me! Shinigami, guide me!" Hirotaka yelled out. Monkey Fist went white. He'd called to the gods! Oh Monkey Spirits the boy had actually called to the _gods_! But Hirotaka had _forsaken_ them. All at once, in a heartbeat, Monkey Fist was at his mercy, and Hirotaka looked ready to finish what he'd started. Apparently the ninja had found reason to make an exception to denying the deities. The young man stabbed at the Monkey Lord again, but Monkey Fist dodged. He grabbed Hirotaka and threw him back so the two were rolling across the ground. Even then, though, Monkey Fist felt himself giving way. Perfect. Shinigami was aiding his favorite.

"Hirotaka!" Fukushima's voice suddenly cried out in alarm. Hirotaka looked quickly up, along with Monkey Fist, both shocked.

KP

Fukushima was suddenly there, tackling Hirotaka off of Monkey Fist. "Fukushima!" Hirotaka exclaimed in shock. He shoved his friend off with a scowl and leapt up. "Stay out of my way, brother."

"I will defend my guardian to death!" Fukushima argued.

"Oh good, then out of my way!" Monkey Fist shot, leaping up and pouncing at Hirotaka, ready to snap his neck. Hirotaka cried out in pain as Monkey Fist tackled him and rolled. Fukushima darted into the fray and pulled Monkey Fist off of his friend, quickly placing himself between the two again.

"I will defend my friend to death!" Fukushima stated to Monkey Fist. Either way you cut it, he was going to die if they continued this battle. Fortunately he also understood that he was the one thing neither of them would _allow_ to die, not even for the love of Yori.

Monkey Fist and Hirotaka tried to get around Fukushima, but Fukushima continuously stood in their way. Finally Hirotaka got a hold of himself and relaxed his fighting muscles, as did Monkey Fist. Hirotaka scowled at the Monkey Lord. "You will not marry my sister. We will find the antidote," the ninja stated.

"And if we do not?" Fukushima asked his friend.

Hirotaka was quiet. Finally he replied, "Then there is nothing I can do, short of killing one of them, to prevent the marriage of my sister and Monkey Fist. I will not harm my sister, and you, Fukushima, will not allow me to harm your _father_." Fukushima blushed, looking down. Hirotaka looked at Monkey Fist and growled, "Quit my sight, villain."

"Gladly," Monkey Fist growled. Immediately he sprang off away, quickly disappearing.

KP

Will, Jack, and Killigan flew above the Gobi Desert in Global Justice's self-flying jet. "This is the best they could do? We could have taken my private jet," Jack said, disdainfully looking around it.

"This one is easier to bail out of," Will replied.

"Wait, bail out?" Jack asked, sharply looking at his son, eyes wide in disbelief.

"Aye, Hench. We bail out en the middle o' the desert. We canno' very well land the plane _here_. We'd nevair _find_ et," Killigan stated.

Jack blinked. After a moment he said, "I'll tell you what. You two go have your fun searching for the desert blossom, I'll man the plane."

"Ugh, why do you have to be so _lame_?" Will demanded of his father. "I am _so_ relieved I didn't attend regular high school. It would have been an utter _humiliation_."

"I'm not a super-agent or super villain, Will. I'm a business man," Jack defended. "The field jobs are for you and your mother. I sit back, observe, and occasionally step in to ensure nothing happens to either of you."

"Ach, yer hopeless lad," Killigan said to Jack as he rolled his eyes, putting on a parachute.

Will, already with his parachute on, said, "Just put on the chute! We need your direction." Jack groaned but rose, going to the parachutes. Will blinked blankly and face-palmed.

"What?" Jack demanded, put out by the boy's attitude.

"Dad, you're looking at the chutes that need repairs," Will stated. Jack's mouth fell open. He looked uneasily at them and moved away from the rack, taking one of the working ones. "What did I do to deserve this?" Will grumbled.

"Mommy said go and ye' went, laddie," Killigan taunted.

"I do not do everything my mother says!" Will defended.

"Oh really?" Jack asked, raising an eyebrow.

Will withered. "Um, I mean, that is… Okay so I do everything she says, but sneaking out helped my stealth skills."

"Sneaking out?!" Jack demanded sharply. Will bit his tongue savagely, looking at his father in horror.

"Um… I, uh, I mean, they…" he trailed off on seeing Jack's unimpressed look. He moaned and shut up before he sank deeper in hot water. "Sport, when we get back you, me, and your mother are going to have a _long_ talk."

"It wasn't anything bad!" Will insisted.

"Laddie, yer such a mama's boy, and apparently a daddy's boy _too_," Killigan taunted.

"Shut up!" Will shot. Instantly he leapt out of the plane. Killigan grabbed a reluctant Jack's arm and threw him out of the plane. The man cried out in terror. Killigan jumped after them both.

Jack gaped at the ground in horror. "Pull the cord, laddie!" Killigan yelled over to Hench as they caught up to Will.

"Cord? What _cord_?!" Jack exclaimed in panic, unable to look away from the ground they were coming up on entirely too quickly for his liking.

"Dad, quit embarrassing me in front of my enemies!" Will whined, moving towards his father and yanking the cord. Jack cried out in alarm as he suddenly jerked back, fall slowing. Killigan and Will pulled their own cords.

KP

"Mother!" Drakken exclaimed excitedly, bursting into his house. "Shego and I are engaged!"

Mama Lipsky gasped and dropped the plate she'd been carrying, instantly spinning. "Married?!" she exclaimed. "Ooh Drewbie doobie sweetie, that's wonderful!" She crushed her son and Shego in a bone crushing hug making them both cry out in pain. "You've made mama so happy! When's the wedding? Where's the guest list? Who's designing the dress? What kind of cake?"

"We were thinking a small wedding, actually," Shego said.

"Nonsense! Contact all your little friends and let Mama do the rest. Finally I'll get a daughter, and _grandchildren_!" Mama Lipsky exclaimed in delight. Shego and Drakken grinned at each other and kissed passionately. Mama Lipsky watched in delight, unaware it was the Cupid Ray doing the talking.

KP

"Okay, so it's just you and me. Amelia and Hirotaka have an appointment with the shrink, Kim and Ron are gone, and the others are elsewhere. Fair enough, we can swing this," Monique said to Fukushima, though she obviously didn't believe her own statement as they approached the location at which they'd meet GJ.

"Perhaps Dr. Director will be able to provide for us the antidote, or the way to make it," Fukushima suggested as they entered the alleyway. Monique nodded. Two men, walking down towards them, made lewd gestures and comments towards Monique. Fukushima was on top of them in an instant. He would have snapped their wrists, except Monique pulled him back.

"Easy boy, ignore the jokers. They ain't worth your time," Monique said.

"They _will_ treat you with honor," Fukushima argued, but Monique had dragged him away from what could have been a bloodbath. They rounded another corner that led into another alley. Suddenly a figure appeared from inside a doorway. Fukushima and Monique gasped, Fukushima quickly getting in front of his tigress and dropping into a fighting pose, in case anything were to go wrong.

"Easy, it's just me," a familiar voice said as the woman stepped into the light. Dr. Director.

"Girl, you almost gave us a heart attack," Monique said.

"Sorry about that," she answered.

"Do you have the answer from Jack Hench?" Fukushima asked.

"Unfortunately the antidote that broke was the only one Henchco had produced, but I _do_ have a list of the ingredients they need to make more," Betty stated, handing over the list.

Monique took it and looked through. "Great, so we just grab these and we're golden."

"Ooh," Fukushima said, cringing.

"What's 'ooh'?" Monique demanded suspiciously.

"These are very rare ingredients, found only in certain areas of the world. They are not easily attained," Fukushima answered. Luckily he knew where to _find_ most of them.

"Precisely. Jack, Will, and Killigan are dealing with half of the list. This half is your half to gather," Betty said. She held out two devices, saying, "Communicators, to keep in contact with Will, Jack, and Killigan. Inform each other whenever an ingredient is gathered. If you follow the lists, you should all end up meeting each other in Ireland. Good luck out there. Of course GJ will supply you with transportation and anything else you might need."

"Great," Monique unenthusiastically said. "We're officially a role reversal. Fukushima's Kim and I'm Ron."

Fukushima smirked at her and took her hand. "I am better," he boasted. "Come, Tigress, we must hurry. Domo, Dr. Director." Betty bowed to the two, smirking.


	8. World Adventures

_**Kim Possible: Cupid Struck Stupid**_

(A/N: Second up today. Fairly long chapter but not the longest I've done. Probably could have gone into a lot more detail, but that would have equalled an incredibly long story that I don't have the motivation to write right now. More playing with the psychiatrist. Poking fun at him is fun. This chapter I really rushed because there was a lot going on and I didn't have much time to edit it. Things are busy. Sorry about that.)

World Adventures

Will and Killigan were panting and gasping, pulling themselves across the desert sands. Jack looked back at them, annoyed, and rolled his eyes. "H-How es et tha' the man tha' canno' free fall far the life o' him es the only one makin' et through the desert?" Killigan asked.

"Because, my dear Mr. Killigan, I know how to deal with situations like this, how to dress, what to do, how to react," Jack replied, returning. He knelt and helped his son stagger up.

"W-water," Will begged. He'd long ago finished _his_.

"If I told you once I told you a thousand times, only one swallow and only when you really, really need it. Did you listen? No," Jack said to his son, shaking his head. Luckily he'd expected as much, so he'd packed lots of extra canteens. What, he was a father. He had to ensure he cared for his own. He gave the boy one of the extras, and another to Killigan as well. "Get rehydrated with these and then stop wasting our water and listen to me." Killigan and Will downed the two canteens quickly, grateful for the relief. Jack handed them each another. "One-swallow. Capiche?" he asked. Will and Duff nodded meekly.

KP

"Where's our first stop?" Monique questioned Fukushima as they poured over a map.

"Here, in the African country of Zambia," Fukushima answered. "Stay close to me, Monique, I do not know what to expect there," he warned her.

"Fukushima, you don't have to ask twice," Monique replied. "As long as _you_ stay close to _me_. Woman or not, _I'm_ the one who'll blend _in_ there. You… yeah, you'll stick out like a sore thumb."

The door from which they would jump out opened. Fukushima double checked Monique's parachute then his own. Satisfied, he nodded. Monique swallowed and fearfully took his hand in a vicelike grip. The two ran for the door and leapt out together, Monique screaming. Soon enough Fukushima signalled for her to pull her cord. They both did so and the parachute's spread wide, setting them down safely in a wide open savannah.

Taking off her gear, Monique said, "Hey, this place looks like the setting for the _Lion Prince_."

"The what?" Fukushima asked.

"You know, the _Lion Prince_, a movie," Monique replied. Fukushima blinked blankly. Monique frowned. "Boy, how isolated from society have you been up in that secret ninja school?" Fukushima shrugged. Monique sighed, rolling her eyes. "Whatever, let's just get this bark and move." Fukushima smiled and bowed.

The two began walking through the fields towards the rock mass. "It is quite beautiful here," Fukushima remarked.

"Look at all the _animals_," Monique agreed, grinning at the huge herds gathering by watering holes. "Zebras, giraffes, elephants, rhinoceros, hippopotamus, cheetahs, lions, hyenas, _everything_."

"As long as we do not disturb them, we should be fine," Fukushima said. "They have no interest in us right now."

Monique was enjoying this, actually. It was like a free safari. Just then they heard a truck motor revving and gasped. They ducked low, hiding in the tall grass. All at once, seemingly from nowhere, a truck burst, racing just inches away from them. They gasped, pale. "They have guns!" Monique exclaimed. "Fukushima they're poachers! We've gotta stop them!"

"Monique, it would be a death sentence!" Fukushima protested.

"We can't let them slaughter the animals!" Monique insisted, leaping up. "Hey losers, get back here you bunch of cowards!" Fukushima gaped at her in horror. She had no _clue_ the danger of the fire she was playing with. You did _not_ confront poachers unless you wanted to join their trophy collection. Fukushima shot up from the grass. There was no way the men had heard, after all. He could still get her away from here.

Of course just then one of the poachers chose to look back and spotted them, Monique looking livid and Fukushima looking horrified. The man yelled to the others and the car suddenly turned around, heading back towards them! "This is not good," Fukushima groaned.

KP

"This is most unfortunate," Hirotaka said to Amelia as the two sat in the psychiatrist's office waiting for him to come back to talk to Hirotaka, who had insisted she be there for a little while.

"You didn't mind it last time," she remarked. He also hadn't asked her to stay last time.

"I _tolerated_ last time," Hirotaka corrected. "Amelia, I will be sent to a hospital if this keeps on. He will not understand anything. I am spoken to by _gods_." (Mentioned in a previous installment of this series.)

Just then a throat cleared and the two gasped and turned. Hirotaka and Amelia paled. The psychiatrist had entered! "Um, wh-what did you hear?" Amelia asked worriedly.

The doctor was looking at Hirotaka in shock and horror. "My, my, this is indeed a disturbing problem. You say the gods speak to you?" the man asked. Hirotaka could hardly squeak. "Amelia, perhaps I should have some alone time with Hirotaka."

"H-he was kidding!" Amelia exclaimed, alarmed at what the man must be thinking. Paranoid Schizophrenic, probably.

"And I believe you, my dear," the man said. Oh no he didn't, the two young adults both knew. "However, these sessions can be very private." Amelia looked uneasily at a still shocked Hirotaka. Reluctantly she rose and headed out, waving and smiling encouragingly at him. Okay, this had probably been a mistake, she admitted that. She would _definitely_ have to make this up to him.

Hirotaka twitched as the doctor approached him. Once the door was shut the man sat down. "Um, I can explain," Hirotaka lamely offered.

"I know, son, I know. Now, how long have the, err, 'gods' been speaking to you?" the man asked. Hirotaka whimpered and lay back on the sofa. _This_ was going to be a disaster. As if he didn't have enough to worry about already, his sister and Monkey Fist were very likely planning a wedding behind his back as he lay here helpless to do anything about it.

KP

"There's the oasis," Jack pointed. "However, I feel I must warn you…"

"The flower's there, let's grab it and go," Will said, instantly rising and racing towards it. Jack gaped after him, pale.

"Warn us about wha'?" Killigan guardedly asked. Judging by the terror on Hench's face, it wasn't good.

Jack shook his head and exclaimed, "That the group living there isn't friendly! Will! Will!" Instantly he scrambled up and raced after his son. Killigan blinked blankly. Not friendly? Oh great, guns and death. The golfer sighed in exasperation and began racing after the other two, his golf balls and clubs ready.

Will burst into the jungle and ran right to the flower. He smirked, stooping to pick it up. All at once he heard guns cocking and froze, paling. In an Asian dialect, luckily one he knew, someone said, "Do not look up. Put your hands on your head." Slowly Will moved to obey, not daring to try and peek at whoever it was who had accosted him.

"Pray, boy," a second voice threatened. "Kill him."

Will went white. "Dad!" he cried without thinking it through. Guns went off. He screamed but didn't feel anything. In fact he heard the men confusedly speaking. He looked quickly up and gasped. He was beneath a force field! He looked around and his eyes widened as he spotted a small box shaped device. A Hench Co invention! His father and Killigan were here. He looked up swiftly and saw Jack and Killigan facing the armed men, both scowling.

"Back away from the laddie!" Killigan ordered.

"Shoot them!" one man shouted to the others. They all fired, but a force field blocked the bullets from striking either of the two men.

Killigan would have let loose with explosions, but Jack put a restraining hand on his arm, silently telling his client that he had this covered. "People, why don't we just calm down and try to work this out?" Jack smoothly said. They paused. Will snatched the flower and tucked it away before any of the men noticed. They took aim at the two men again. Just then, though, Jack pulled out a sack and threw it forward. It landed in front of them. After a moment one bent and opened it. He gasped, pulling out cash bills. "International language," Jack muttered to a shocked Killigan. Taking the distraction, Will rose and ran to his father and the golfer. The group didn't even care, too busy cheering Jack, who looked rather proud of himself. Will, a little embarrassed, looked ashamedly up at the man. Jack smirked and ruffled his hair. "Gift of money, son, gift of money." Quickly the three left.

KP

Monique and Fukushima were running towards the rock as fast as they could, bullets showering behind them. "We're never going to make it!" Monique exclaimed.

"I told you to leave well enough alone!" Fukushima yelled.

"Hey, at least they missed the animals," Monique argued.

"Oh, they have stopped chasing animals, how well. Except now they are after _us_!" Fukushima yelled. Monique gasped and shoved Fukushima to the side as the truck barrelled down on them. It just missed hitting the duo then came around in front of them, cutting them off. The two looked up, gasping.

"Move and you die," one man said in a heavily accented voice.

"You there, boy, stand!" another ordered.

"Don't," Monique said to Fukushima. Fukushima squeezed her hand reassuringly and rose anyway, hands up. He didn't dare take his eyes off of the men.

"You and you, get the girl!" the obvious leader shot. Monique gasped, paling. Fukushima went to move but was stopped when guns were cocked. Monique shrieked as she was roughly dragged up. Fukushima scowled, murder in his eyes. If they dared to attempt anything with his tigress, they would pay.

They dragged Monique to the truck. She looked up in terror. The men weren't bad looking at least, she told himself. Yeah, like _that_ was making her feel better. "Let me go," she said, trying to struggle.

The man put a machete to her neck. "_You_ will be the prize we take. Kill the young man."

"No!" Monique screamed as guns went off. She yanked free, turning. She gasped. There was a cloud of smoke from a smoke pellet, and Fukushima was nowhere to be seen! Wait, she should probably fight. Immediately she spun on one of the men, grabbing his gun and kneeing him in the groin. She swung him around, throwing him into another, and tried to run for it. She was grabbed before she got far, though, and she screamed. Oh man, she really needed to learn how to fight. Unfortunately it was going to be too late. "Help, help! Fukushima!" she shrieked, struggling.

KP

All at once the head of the group cried out in pain, falling to the ground. The others turned quickly. All at once they were hit as well and cried out, dropping Monique. Monique turned quickly and her eyes widened. Ninja stars! She turned quickly and spotted Fukushima on a cliff. He beckoned her quickly then vanished. She ran towards the cliff as the group of men tried to reorganize themselves and treat their injuries, very bad injuries at that. Monique leapt onto the rocks and began scrambling up them. One gave way and she gasped, almost falling, but all at once the ninja's hand was around her wrist, holding her up. He pulled her to where he was, smirking.

"You're okay!" Monique exclaimed, hugging him. "Boy you're practically a ghost."

"Domo," Fukushima answered. "Quickly. We must leave this place before they are able to recover. Swiftly they clambered the rest of the way up. They spotted the bark they needed. Monique pulled a knife and quickly cut through it, tucking it away in their little pouch.

"Score!" she cheered. "We did it! Well, _you_ did it. Guess I wasn't much of a help."

Fukushima opened his mouth to reply, but all at once a bullet sounded out. He screamed in pain and fell to the ground, clutching his side. Monique gasped and turned quickly. One of the men was right there, gun aimed at Fukushima's head! "You will pay, boy," the man growled.

"Oh I don't _think_ so!" Monique shot, suddenly lunging and seizing the man's gun, forcing it up as it fired. The two struggled with each other. The man viciously kicked her. She almost collapsed, but adrenaline drove her to keep fighting back. If this guy got free, Fukushima would be killed and she would be victimized. "_No_ one touches my man!" Viciously she pulled the gun out of the enemy's hand and delivered a powerful kick right between his legs. The man screamed in agony and collapsed. Monique aimed the gun, scowling. "_That's_ how _I_ role."

Fukushima staggered up clutching his side, gaping at Monique in awe. "Monique…" he began.

"Contact the Global Justice jet before you bleed out," Monique ordered. Fukushima obeyed wordlessly. There was really nothing he could _say_. In seconds the jet was hovering above them and GJ agents had surrounded the poachers, rounding them up. Others busily treated Fukushima's injury.

KP

Will heard the communicator he'd been given signalling someone was contacting him. Probably Monique. He pulled it out, answering, "Will Du, go."

"We have the bark from Africa. Had a run in with poachers, Fukushima got shot, but we're good," she stated.

"Good, after an encounter with a group wielding guns, we got the flower from the Gobi Desert. Where are you headed next?" Will questioned.

"Hey Fukushima, where we going?" Monique asked. Fukushima, now patched up and looking over the map while sitting, answered as he cringed. "Iran."

"Ooh," Monique said. That was _not_ good. _Especially_ not for her.

"I would switch with you out of pity, except we're heading into Syria," Will dryly said.

"Give me that," Jack said, taking the device from his son. "Monique, Jack Hench here. Tip for you. Wear the Burka if you go out, hope that whatever Fukushima decides to put on hides the fact he's Asian, and just go with the flow. Feminism be cursed, you pull any of your sassy and defiant crap there you'll get the both of you killed. And for the love of all things good and evil, keep a leash on that _ninja_. He'll end up stoned to death if he doesn't watch his actions. If anything his personality is more of a risk to you than anything else."

"Hey!" Fukushima shot.

"Actually, maybe it's _best_ if only Fukushima goes, and you keep backup from above," Jack said. "If you're not there for him to be protective of, he might stay quiet. If not, at least you'll be ready to get to him before he's hung. As for us, let's just say Will _certainly_ won't be leaving this jet when we reach Syria. I'm not going to have my son blown up or shot."

"I can handle myself!" Will insisted.

"Laddie, ye' were almost shot t' death en the Gobi Desert," Killigan argued.

"I…" Will began.

"No buts!" Jack barked sharply. Will blinked then scowled, folding his arms and pouting.

KP

_Soon_

Jack and Killigan ran desperately through the streets, dodging everything that came there way. "Ye' led us int' a crossfire!" Killigan screamed.

"At least we have the ingredient!" Jack defended, hoping and praying his force field kept holding up as they sprang yet another landmine that shook them, and the field, but didn't penetrate.

"Ach, Ah wonder how Fukushima and Monique are farin'," Killigan grumbled as the jet began hovering above them, alarming both sides of the Civil War. Killigan and Jack got into the jet as fast as humanly possible and it shot off, leaving the country behind.

KP

Meanwhile, Fukushima gasped as he was thrown down to the ground. He gaped in horror at the men standing ready to stone him to death. Him and his big mouth, he realized. Note to self, avoid areas that looked like military bases in future. That was _if_ he had a future. All at once he spotted the jet. It was flying low. He grinned. The men surrounding him turned with gasps and cried out in terror, fleeing the area while trying to shoot it down. The door opened and Fukushima leapt up, diving inside. Quickly it shut.

"Did you get it?" Monique asked quickly.

"I am fine, domo," he grumbled in reply.

"Great, you're fine, but did you get it?" she asked again, but he saw the weary yet teasing glimmer in her eyes, so he let it go.

"I did. It was heavily guarded. I entered and exited the base without difficulty," he answered.

"Then how…" she began.

"I struck a man who raised his hand to strike _me_," Fukushima answered dryly. "He was a terrorist."

"Ooh, ouch," Monique said, cringing.

"How far do Hench's dealings go? I believe I actually saw some Hench Co products. You do not think that he would…" Fukushima began.

"Boy, when Hench's weapons leave his factories, he don't care _where_ they go," Monique stated. "The man is after money. If his devices end up in terrorist hands, he really couldn't care less. Villain, Fukushima, vill-ain. If his clients deal with cells, it isn't his business. He only deals with his clients. Same with any gun factory. I can guarantee you half the guns they use down there were made by American companies. Hench ain't no different than any of _them_."

KP

"We've got the ingredient," Will said into his Communicator as Jack and Killigan were recovering from shellshock.

Fukushima, who was listening, replied, "As have we. There is only one more thing left on our list."

"One thing left for us too," Will stated.

"Then we meet en Ireland," Killigan stated. "We're headin' t' New Zealand."

"We're en route to Antarctica," Monique stated, shivering at the thought.

"Good luck," Will said.

"And to you," Fukushima replied.

KP

Monique and Fukushima stood shivering. "Th-th-th-this is-is un-unbelievably c-c-c-cold," Fukushima said through chattering teeth.

"Man up, boy," Monique replied, not shivering nearly as much. Of course she'd had a better idea of how to dress here than Fukushima had.

"Wh-wh-wh-where i-i-is i-i-it?" Fukushima asked, desperately trying to keep warm.

"Signal says just over this ridge," Monique replied. The two came over a snowy hill and looked down. There it was, the ingredient they'd been seeking. "Good coordinates," she remarked, impressed.

"C-c-can w-w-w-we ju-just ge-get it?" Fukushima asked. Monique shot him a reproachful glare then cringed. The guy looked like he was going to freeze to death.

"Boy, get back to the plane. I'll handle this," she said. He watched her slide down the hill, laughing in delight. How anyone could enjoy this was beyond him. His teeth were chattering. Monique, laughing, reached the bottom and ran towards the ingredient. He smirked. He liked watching her. It actually made him feel warmer. She stood out against this background. She looked back at him grinning excitedly.

Her eyes became mischievous and she picked up a snowball, throwing it at him. He dodged and gasped, slipping down the hill as he lost his footing. He cried out in alarm and crashed into her, knocking her down on top of him. She burst into laughter as they slid to a stop, her above him. She rose on her arms, grinning down at him. He blinked then blushed deeply, grinning up at her. She bit her lower lip then suddenly pecked his nose and rose. He looked at her in shock then stood, grinning.

"Don't let it get to your head," she said. "I'm just in a mood."

KP

Meanwhile, Jack, Will, and Killigan hiked over the mountains of New Zealand. "I feel like we're reliving a scene from _Lord of the Earrings_," Will complained.

"We even had a Scottish hobbit," Jack poked, nudging Killigan. Killigan blinked then scowled at Jack.

"Why ye' wee…" he began.

"Is that it?" Will asked, pointing down towards a dark and foreboding looking swamp.

"Yep," Jack answered, frowning.

"Right, Ah got this, lads. Ah used t' play en the moors. Learned as a wee lad how t' navigate quicksand and marshes," Killigan stated, beginning the decent down the cliff. It wasn't too bad of a cliff, but enough of one to require mountain climbing skills.

Will and Killigan climbed down the cliff with relative ease. Jack, however, unsure of even how to do this, suddenly slipped. He cried out in terror. Will gasped. "Dad!" he exclaimed. There was no way he'd catch his father!

Luckily, though, Jack managed to snag a vine. He clung to the cliff in terror, hardly daring to move. Will sighed in relief. Killigan, at the bottom, called up, "Ach, jump Jack! Et esn't a bad fall! Ye' might break a leg, but tha's hardly a problem. Ye' never get out anyway."

"Shut up!" Jack yelled down, heart still pounding.

"Come on old man, can't handle it?" Will teased, knowing that being called old man deeply offended his father and prompted the man to display some real skill.

Jack started then scowled. He looked down, judged his options, then suddenly shoved off of the cliff, jumping. Will gasped, paling. He hadn't meant free fall the rest of the way! He expected to hear a bone snap—though at least Killigan was right in saying the fall wasn't fatal—but no such thing happened. Jack landed on a boulder not too far down then jumped from rock to rock the rest of the way until he was on solid ground. He smiled boastfully up at his son. Will, gaping, reached the ground. "What's that term you young people use? Oh yes, served."

"Owned, dad, now owned is the thing, and powned," Will grumbled.

"Whatever," Jack replied, ruffling his son's hair. Will frowned at him and brushed the hand away, looking annoyed. Jack chuckled affectionately as he followed Killigan's lead. Will pursued.

KP

Killigan led them gingerly through the swamp. "Step where Ah step and ye' will no' be sucked en," he warned. They weren't about to disobey.

Will cringed as his foot sunk deep in some muck. "I hate this," he complained.

"Hmm, this mud could sell as a beauty product if anyone had the mind to slap a label on it," Jack remarked.

"Thinking of expanding your market?" Will asked incredulously.

"Just a remark," Jack defended. "Although I _could_ say it was poisonous or self-expanding mud and pawn it off as a death trap."

"Ah hate you," Killigan bit, knowing full well how easily Jack sucked in his villain cliental. Of that cliental, _he_ was _one_.

"Anyone with a bit of resourcefulness could turn the mud into a deathtrap anyway," Will grumbled.

"There," Jack pointed. The other two looked. Just ahead sat the mossy and fungal ingredients they needed.

"Ah've got et," Killigan assured, picking his way carefully across the marsh. He grabbed them then returned. "Let's get out o' here befar the mist rolls en even thicker and we canno' see two feet en front o' us."

"Right," Jack and Will agreed simultaneously. The thought of becoming lost in the mist didn't sit well with _either_ of them. Who _knew_ what animals lingered inside of it?

KP

Meeting up in Ireland, somewhere in a wide green field near the ruins of a castle, the two groups displayed their ingredients. "Good, that's all of them," Jack said.

"Will it be enough for all four of the Cupid Rays victims?" Monique asked. _Please_ let it be enough.

"Theoretically," Jack replied.

"Theoretically, great," Will complained.

"I'll bump my employees' pay and they'll work at optimal capacity. There shouldn't be any mess-ups," Jack assured.

"I hope you are correct," Fukushima said. "Do you know, by the way, that your devices have found their way to terrorist cells?"

"Really? Go figure," Jack replied, folding his arms warningly. If this was turning into an accusation, the ninja would regret it.

"What?" Will icily asked.

"Where my weapons end up is none of my concern," Jack stated firmly.

"Yer neither confirmin' or denyin' treachery, laddie?" Killigan asked, smirking in interest.

"Oh I'm a traitor all right, just not necessarily to the people and things and nations you assume," Jack answered. He understood full well that Will was suspecting he'd betrayed the country. Let the boy think what he would. Jack stood by his statement. It wasn't his business what his cliental did with the weapons and devices he supplied.

"Uh oh," Killigan said, suddenly pale.

"What?" the others asked.

"Ah hate t' be the bearer o' bad news, but Ah've just been invited t' a wedding," Killigan replied tightly.

The others paled. "Oh no, don't tell me," Monique said.

"Drakken and Shego," Killigan confirmed, showing the invitation.

Jack's cell rang and he picked it up. "Hello?" he asked. He listened a moment and his eyes widened. "What?" he asked. He listened a bit more then answered, "Keep an eye on them, we're on our way."

"What is happening?" Fukushima asked.

"Our time's running out. Can you say secret marriage?" Jack asked.

"Monkey Fist and Yori!" Monique exclaimed.

"Bingo. Let's get going. We get this antidote made up, cure those two, and then hope we make it in time to stop Drakken and Shego," Jack said.

"This is _so_ messed. You three and GJ deal with the cure. Fukushima and I will try and keep Monkey Fist and Yori under surveillance!" Monique stated as they quickly hurried back to their separate planes.


	9. Two Down

_**Kim Possible: Cupid Struck Stupid**_

(A/N: Possibly more than one up today, unless I can't finish the next chapter. All right, I've been informed that Nanny _Maim_ is actually Nanny Nane's name, so again I'm switching back to Maim, like I had in the first installment that included her in this series.)

Two Down

He kissed her neck softly, making his way leisurely up to her cheeks, then her temples. He brushed away her silent tears gently. "What's wrong? What bothers you so?" he asked.

"I feel ashamed," she answered.

"What have I done to make you feel this?" he asked.

"Nothing… My lord you have done nothing," she answered. "But… but to wed you behind Hirotaka's back… To betray my brother in such a way… I cannot."

"He knows there is nothing he can do to stop it," Monkey Fist declared. "He knows I will stop at nothing to have you. Simply because he does not approve doesn't mean he will not accept it."

"I want to be with you, but can I truly forsake my honor, my brother, my sister, my family?" she asked.

"If you are afraid I shant press you, but when I say you will be my wife, I mean it," he stated. "I would sooner _die_ than lose you." She looked at him, eyes filled with love and lips parted. All at once she moved forward, taking his lips adoringly. After a moment she pulled back, tears in her eyes. "There is an overlook, by the lake. Give me time to speak to Hirotaka, and meet me there tonight. There we will discuss these matters."

"As you wish, Japan," he whispered softly. He bent and kissed her forehead lovingly. She grinned softly.

KP

Nanny Maim sat listening to her son's story and looking none too pleased. "So, the girl will not wed without her brother's blessing. We cannot have _that_ now, _can_ we?" Maim asked. "What if Hirotaka were to be put out of the picture?"

"Kill her brother? Are you _mad_, woman? She wouldn't be able to stand the _sight_ of me," Monkey Fist argued, looking down and to the side in anger. It would certainly be so much _easier_ to kill him, though.

"But if _I_ were to do it…" Maim hinted. "A little poison…"

Monkey Fist started and looked quickly over at her, eyes wide. He smirked coldly. "Look at you, mother. Reminiscent of Lucrecia Borgeis. That could work," he replied. All at once he stiffened, however, on remembering one little, well actually large, detail. "No wait, that wouldn't have a chance. The boy is favored by the Japanese god of death. The deity protects that young man personally, for the sake of Hana. Hana is Shinigami's child, Hirotaka may very well be Hana's lifeline. Shinigami will not allow any harm to befall the young man without severe punishment… However…"

"Go on," Maim said, smirking coldly and leaning forward. She found she rather _enjoyed_ plotting with her son. Humph, Borgeis indeed. Try Fiske.

"If the boy were to be detained, he would have no say in anything his sister did. She would be the one in charge, if her brother were out of the way," Monkey Fist stated. "It might take a bit of a wait, but it's only a matter of time."

"Before…" Maim pressed.

"Before the boy is declared mentally unstable. The young man is whispered to by gods, for Pete's sake. No self-respecting psychiatrist would keep him out of a nut house should one of those episodes happen during a session," Monkey Fist stated.

"On the other hand the girl may be able to earn her brother's blessing," Maim said.

"Perhaps, and if so that will spare us a lot of trouble, but if not at least we have something to fall back on," Monkey Fist stated.

"Very good, my child, very good. This must be sealed quickly," Maim said, because nothing was going to stand in the way of this marriage. At least not for as long as _she_ could help it. She knew already the two would be cured, but hopefully not before they were married. If it happened before the marriage, though, she supposed there was nothing she could do about it, unfortunately. She would just have to bide her time, yet again.

KP

Hirotaka listened to his sister in shock, mouth agape though he was silent. Tearfully, Yori begged, "I love him, brother. I wish to be with him. With all my heart I wish it. Please, I plead only for your blessing."

Hirotaka finally managed to close his mouth. He looked towards the crib where Hana slept soundly, unaware of what her siblings were talking about. Hirotaka closed his eyes tightly in denial. Finally he turned back to Yori, eyes helpless and tired. "I have told you already that I cannot prevent this. Not without killing either you or him. I cannot murder my flesh and blood, I will not slay my best friend; and Fukushima _would_ die protecting his guardian. Marry him, if you must… if this is not cured in time… but do _not_ expect by blessing. Backing, yes, permission, yes, but _not_ my blessing."

"Domo, Hirotaka, domo!" Yori exclaimed, throwing herself into her brother's arms. Hirotaka swallowed and closed his eye tightly. Oh gods, please let this be _cured_. If Yori was to fall in love with Monkey Fist, _if_ she were to fall in love, he only wished it to be of her own accord, _not_ because of some Cupid Ray love pheromone. He wanted her to be in control of her own mind.

KP

Monkey Fist stood, leaning against a railing as he watched the lake's waters reflecting in the moonlight. Across that lake the lights of a carnival lit up the sky. Perhaps he would bring Yori there, in order to throw suspicion off of them in case anyone was following. It was a chilly night, but the monkey lord hardly cared. He heard footsteps approach and glanced over. His eyes filled with absolute adoration and he rose, turning. "Yori," he said.

She hurried into his arms, holding him tightly. "He has given his permission and still I am afraid," she murmured softly.

"Don't be, my darling. Soon we will be wed. Soon this will all be over. There will be nothing your brother or our allies can do to stop it anymore. We will be man and wife," he replied, rocking her gently. He was hardly able to believe his ears. Hirotaka had given his permission. Monkey Fist wasn't sure by what miracle the young man had decided to agree, but he was eternally grateful he _had_. In fact, he didn't believe he'd been more grateful to _anyone_ before.

KP

"There they are," Monique hissed, pointing the two out.

Fukushima, frowning, said, "I do not approve."

"You ain't the only one," Monique stated. "The girl could have at _least_ told her best friends." Fukushima blinked blankly and gave Monique a look that just screamed 'really?' Monique, catching the glare, asked, "What? I wanted to design the white dress."

"You wished for Yori to wear a mourning gown?" he questioned.

"What?" she asked blankly. "Boy, are you mad? White is for a wedding!"

"White? No, no, Monique. White in Japan is the color worn after the death of a loved one," Fukushima stated.

"Oh…" Monique said, eyes wide. Oops.

Fukushima smirked and rolled his eyes affectionately. That smirk fell, however, on spotting Monkey Fist and Yori walking across the bridge and towards the carnival. "Quickly, we must follow," Fukushima said. He took Monique's hand and drew her close, making it appear as if they were just another pair of lovers. Monkey Fist and Yori, hopefully, wouldn't recognize them in the dark. Yori was leaning against Monkey Fist's shoulder, holding his hand. He had drawn her near. Fukushima and Monique exchanged worried looks. This was getting worse and worse.

KP

Fukushima and Monique watched Yori and Monkey Fist walk through the carnival hand in hand, laughing together. "He does not laugh. How is she making him laugh?" Fukushima demanded, frowning as he handed the prize he'd just won over to Monique as a gift.

"Mmm that man is a charmer," Monique wryly said, taking the giant bear and holding it close. She'd heard some of the sweet nothing's Monkey Fist had spoken to Yori. To say they were smooth, poetic, and entirely alluring, was an understatement.

"Would you care for cotton candy, Monique?" Fukushima asked, pointing to the booth.

"Thanks," she replied, smiling at him. He purchased it and handed it over. The two continued tailing Monkey Fist and Yori at a safe distance. "Tunnel of Love, twelve o'clock," Monique warned.

"Hurry Tigress, we must catch that ride," Fukushima said, racing to catch up. They managed to snag the boat behind the nobleman's and Yori's boat.

"That man don't strike me as the type to go on rides," Monique remarked.

"They are trying to ensure that there is no one watching them," Fukushima explained as the boat entered the tunnel to the sound of mystical and dreamlike music.

"Wow, I expected something sappy. This song is actually really nice," she remarked. "It gives me chills." She closed her eyes, letting the sound lull her. Fukushima could keep watch. He was keeping watch, all right, but not on the noble and Yori. His gaze was on Monique. Her face was turned upwards towards the roof, but her eyes were shut and a soft grin was on her face. He smiled softly. He suddenly caught himself and started. Frowning he quickly looked ahead again.

For a time he was able to focus, but all at once she was leaning on his shoulder. He blinked blankly and turned quickly to her. She showed no signs of having noticed her own position, or thinking anything of it if she did. She was softly humming along with the song. Her voice was nice. And she was so soft… He cringed and chastised himself, trying to focus again on his guardian.

KP

As time went on, Monique and Fukushima found themselves lying back in their boat, watching the stars above on reaching an open section. "With all the lights it's a miracle you can see the sky at _all_," Monique remarked.

"Yes," he agreed. "It is beautiful." She sighed in contentment. He glanced at her and murmured softly, "But not half as beautiful as you." He closed his eyes and lay back. Her own slowly opened again in shock as she tried to verify to herself she'd actually heard him say that. She rose on one arm and looked down at him. Did he know himself that he had spoken, she wondered.

"Boy, you don't know what you're saying," she said softly.

He opened his eyes again and met hers. "I know the words I speak," he stated unapologetically. Her lips slowly parted. She blushed, closing them quickly, and looked away again, holding the bear he'd won for her tightly and trying to understand the emotions she was feeling in that moment. "Do you still despise me?" he wondered.

She shivered. Did she still despise him? No, no, why would he _ask_ that? After a moment she answered, "No… not anymore…"

"Am I still your enemy, tigress?" he asked.

She tightened her hold on the bear. After a while she rolled over onto her side and gazed at him sincerely. "Will you betray me?" she asked softly.

He was quiet, hand gently going to her cheek and stroking it, brushing her hair behind her ears. "I cannot promise I will not become a traitor again," he answered, for he still struggled in his heart as to what to do.

"Will you betray _me_?" she repeated, because in all honesty she was beyond caring if he betrayed the _world_. As long as he didn't betray _her_. It was selfish, in a way, but for some reason she didn't really care.

He caught on. After a long moment he answered, "I will _not_ betray you." For a long time she gazed at him. All at once, before she even really realized what she was doing, she moved towards him and gently took his lips. He, surprised at first, soon returned, pulling her nearer and burying his hand in her hair.

Just as they pulled apart their Communicators rang. Monique swallowed. Fukushima sighed in annoyance and answered the call. The two started on seeing Dr. Director's face appear. "It's ready. The antidote is ready. GJ is getting it to you ASAP," she declared.

KP

"You know what has happened to us," Yori remarked to Monkey Fist as they sat across from each other in a field adjacent to the fair. They'd gone far enough away from it that the music was only a dull murmur in the backs of their minds, and the lights only a memory.

"I know," he verified. The Cupid Ray. They both understood that.

"Then is this real?" she questioned.

"No," he answered simply.

"Then why do we pursue it?" she wondered.

"Because we have no choice," he answered.

"Do you wish for a choice?" she asked.

He was silent, gazing at the young woman before him. "No," he soon answered firmly.

She smiled sadly. Soon it fell, though, and she asked, "We _will_ be returned to ourselves, before we are wed, but is there a part of you that does not want this to end, Monkey King?"

He leaned forward, his hand gently going behind her head. He pulled her near and kissed her tenderly. After a moment he pulled back. "_All_ of me does not want this to end," he stated steadfastly.

"I shall miss this, my lord Monkey Fist," she said, hearing the sounds of Monique and Fukushima—whom they'd known were pursuing them for some time now—approaching.

"I will remember," he declared, nuzzling her gently. All at once Fukushima and Monique were there. The two lovers looked calmly over and rose, approaching the other two, both of whom looked surprised.


	10. Telling Team Go

_**Kim Possible: Cupid Struck Stupid**_

(A/N: Second up today. Getting close to the end now.)

Telling Team Go

It was a regular day in Go Tower, really it was. The Wego twins were playing video games with Mego. Hego was fondly watching, it being his day off of work. Soon enough he slipped out of the room, letting his three brothers alone to their game. He needed to start making something for dinner. It was his turn to cook. He and Mego usually switched off each night. The Wego twins would sometimes attempt to make something, if they were in the mood. Needless to say, usually the four brothers ended up ordering out on those nights. Not that _his_ cooking was much _better_, Hego knew. Mego had a little more finesse than him. In fact, Mego might actually have quite the talent, if he ever bothered to _develop_ it.

It wouldn't take much for the second oldest to become a great chef if he ever wanted to. As it was, _Mego's_ most creative dish was Fettuccine Alfredo on a _good_ day. Crab legs or lobster tail if he was in a particularly celebratory mood, though he didn't do much to dress it up, usually just cooking it so it was edible and throwing out a slab of butter on a dish, not even melted. Mego really couldn't care _less_. The only reason he bothered cooking at _all_ was because he needed to eat. Mego had left most of the cooking to Shego. He'd often gotten her to take his cooking nights when she was with them, seeing as back then the three eldest siblings had taken turns. Of course Shego had put a stop to Mego's little charade soon enough. She hadn't been about to encourage the second oldest sibling's laziness. Hego frowned. They missed her.

KP

He went to the fridge and opened it up, pulling out some ingredients. Just then the monitor in the kitchen, revealing the front door via camera, began to crackle. He looked up guardedly at it, frowning. Was it an intruder? He started, his eyes widening on identifying who was outside. _Shego_! Shego opened the door and entered the building. Hego gasped, threw down the ingredients, and then rushed to meet her.

"Shego!" he exclaimed, racing around a corner and running to her, grabbing her in a bear hug.

Shego gasped for breath. "Hego!" she almost screamed.

He let her go, saying, "Oops, sorry." Shego scowled, debating whether to fry him or not. She soon decided against it. She couldn't be bothered. She had… more substantial news to give. "Sis, what are you doing here? Where's Drakken? Did he hurt you? Did you finally leave him? Have you decided to return to good?" Hego immediately barraged.

"Can it, Hego!" Shego shot, annoyed. Hego stopped, though he was still grinning.

"Are you staying for supper? Not that it'll be _much_ of one. _I'm_ cooking tonight," Hego said to her.

"Fine, whatever, didn't plan on it but whatever," she replied, rolling her eyes. "Where are the twins and Mego?"

"Playing video games," Hego answered.

"Ugh, typical laziness," she said, looking disgustedly around at the dirty clothing spread across the room they were currently in. "This is what happens when two bachelor's and two preteen boys live together in the same house. A pigsty!"

"So what brings you back home, Shego?" Hego wondered, walking with his little sister into the kitchen. He instantly became guarded when Shego suddenly looked flustered and unsure of herself. Shego _never_ looked unsure of herself.

"Um, news," she vaguely replied.

"What kind?" he wondered.

"I'll tell you later!" she shot, obviously not intending to go into it now.

"Sorry, sheesh, forget I asked," he defensively replied, putting his hands up in a pacifying gesture.

KP

Shego surveyed the ingredients on the counter and incredulously asked, "Mac and cheese, really? Is that _all_ you boys eat?" Ugh, they were so _helpless_ without her.

"Last night it was Steak, a spinach salad, and fries," Hego offered. "Two nights ago it was Sockeye salmon, coleslaw, and an onion dip with breadsticks."

"Eating out?" Shego asked, raising an eyebrow. She was honestly a little surprised to hear that.

"Mego getting some motivation, actually," Hego answered.

Shego started. Oh yeah, she'd forgotten about Mego's gift with food. At least it _could_ be a gift, if he bothered with it. As it was, Mego's usual courses were simply hotdogs or burgers, once in a while switching to casseroles, chilies, or goulashes. He didn't normally do the gourmet scene or the balanced meal thing. Balanced meals had been what _she'd_ done. Not so much gourmet unless she felt like it, but balanced at least. Her chicken soups were adored by all four of her brothers, as was her chocolate zucchini cake and her turkey.

She rolled her eyes, saying, "Whatever. I'm going to find the others." With that she walked off. Hego smiled softly. Almost like old times, though this wouldn't last long. He wondered. What could she possibly have to say that was so important suddenly?

KP

"I'm winning, I'm winning!" Wego Two cheered.

"No way, see, I'm catching up," Wego One stated.

"Oh please, prepare to get served," Mego said to them both, grinning. All at once the TV went blank as the cord was pulled.

"Hey!" all three protested.

"Playtime's over, boys," an all too familiar voice said. They gasped and sharply turned. There stood Shego, dangling the cord between her fingers!

"Shego!" they exclaimed, leaping to their feet in shock.

Mego scowled and lit his Team Go glow, ready to fight in case she wasn't here meaning peace. The twins were less cautious. "Shego!" they exclaimed together. Instantly they raced over to her and leapt into her arms.

"Hey, no touchy feely. Get lost, tweebs," she shot, shoving them down off of her. They grinned up at her still, hardly fazed by her roughness.

"We've missed you sis!" Wego One exclaimed.

"Are you staying for supper?" Wego Two asked.

"What are _you_ doing here, Shego?" Mego disdainfully questioned, approaching his sister and folding his arms, looking down at her condescendingly.

She frowned, folding her arms as well and glaring daggers at her brother. The twins could practically _see_ the knives flying between the eyes of the two. Shego and Mego had never been on great terms. In fact, once in a while their rivalry got _really_ ugly. "Scared, Freakgo?" she asked him.

"Only of your face," Mego retorted.

"That doesn't even make sense!" Shego yelled, lighting her plasma furiously. "Ugh, and you people _wonder_ why I took off! _Idiots_!"

"Okay, I hear an argument brewing. I guess now's as good a time as ever to call dinner," Hego suddenly said, entering the room quickly on hearing the pending fight about to break out. Shego and Mego harrumphed.

KP

There was silence as they all sat eating. Not a comfortable silence _either_; a really awkward one. Hego glanced around at all the others. The twins looked pleadingly at him, feeling highly uncomfortable. Hego cleared his throat and said, "So, Shego, what's the big news you came to tell us? Is evil afoot?"

"Just her," Mego muttered under his breath.

"Stuff it, pretty boy!" Shego shot.

"Nag, nag, nag," Mego said. He cried out in terror as Shego blasted her plasma at him, just barely managing to shrink in time to avoid the energy flames to the face.

"What's the news!?" the twins insisted quickly, pausing the battle that was about to break out.

"Oh, right, the news, ooh," Shego said, blushing and suddenly feeling very awkward. Her brothers were all looking expectantly at her. She swallowed, feeling very uncertain. Weird. She _never_ felt uncertain. "Hypothetically, if I were to get married, who would hand me off?"

Mego stiffened, eyes widening. The Wego twins were completely oblivious, taking it as just a harmless inquiry. Hego looked fairly naïve about it, but there was curiosity and suspicion in his tone as he answered, "Well, naturally that would fall to _me_, seeing as our father is… unavailable."

"Right, right, uh huh. Question two. Who would be the ring bearer?" she asked, sounding disinterested, playing her part perfectly.

"We would we would, oh please let us!" the twins exclaimed together.

"Great. What about _you_, Mego?" she asked challengingly.

"I'd be the one sulking in the front row and wishing he could be anywhere else but at his baby sister's wedding ceremony, probably disapproving of her choice as well," Mego answered.

"Figures," Shego wryly stated, frowning at him.

"Why do you ask?" Hego asked, raising a glass to his lips and starting to sip.

"I'm… engaged," she answered. Hego spewed out the juice he'd been drinking. The Wegos gasped, mouths dropping and eyes going as wide as saucers. Mego could only gape in horror and disbelief.

KP

"You're _what_?!" Mego shouted, shooting up from his seat.

Leaping from his own, Hego demanded, "To _whom_?"

The Wegos, looking excited and delighted, exclaimed, "Cool!"

"Our sister's getting married!" Wego One said.

"Shego and, uh, whoever, sitting in a tree…" Wego Two began.

"To _whom_?!" Hego demanded again, cutting off the twins.

"Oh gods, tell me it's not…" Mego began.

"Dr. D? Yeah, it is," Shego stated boldly, eyes narrowing. "Got a problem with it?"

"Sh-Shego, the man's old enough to be your _father_!" Hego exclaimed.

"So what?" she demanded defensively.

"Sis, the guy's, well, _him_," Mego said.

"Maybe I _like_ 'him,'" Shego replied, whatever Mego meant by 'him.'

"When's the wedding?" the Wegos asked.

"If we leave tonight, tomorrow evening," Shego answered, shrugging. "It's nothing big, it's nothing overly fancy. Gets too sappy that way."

"Rockin'!" Wego One exclaimed.

"Let's go right after supper!" Wego two said.

"Wait, wait, wait, aren't we even going to _talk_ about this?" Hego asked in a strained and stressed tone.

"Uh, yeah, don't think so. I've made up my mind. I'm marrying Dr. Drakken, whether you approve or not," Shego declared firmly.

KP

Mego finally caught up with the magnitude of this situation and closed his mouth, eyes narrowing dangerously. "If you didn't care about our opinions, why did you even _come_?!" he demanded.

"To invite _you_, doy," Shego replied, though she _really_ hadn't wanted to. Ugh, she couldn't _stand_ her brothers, but Mama Lipsky had insisted.

"You couldn't have sent out invitations?" Mego wondered.

Shego blinked blankly, twitched, then leaned back in her chair, arms folded. With eyes narrowed she replied, "No comment. Look, are you coming or not." The four were quiet. She frowned. "Fine! I don't need your support anyway! I love Dr. D and he loves me! That's all that matters! You guys are just a formality!" She rose and began storming out.

Hego felt a sudden moment of panic. He didn't want to lose his sister again! "Shego, wait!" he cried. "We'll come!" Shego stopped, shocked, and spun quickly, eyes wide. "W-we'll come…" Hego repeated as he looked down. They'd go, but they _certainly_ wouldn't _approve_.

"Perfect," Mego grumbled.


	11. I Now Pronounce You Man and Wife

_**Kim Possible: Cupid Struck Stupid**_

(A/N: I'll hopefully be able to put up the rest today.)

I Now Pronounce You Man and Wife

"Quick, where and when is the wedding?" Betty demanded, racing towards the open door of her husband's car and climbing swiftly into it. Will, Monique, Fukushima, Yori, Monkey Fist, and Killigan sat in the back, crushed together. Jack pushed a button, extending the vehicle. Gratefully the group moved to their own individual seats as Betty blinked back in shock. Wow, some _technology_.

Will, Killigan, and Jack had raced to pick up Monique, Fukushima, Yori, and Monkey Fist last night, the latter two of whom had been too shocked to do much of _anything_. Monique had had to guide Yori back to the car, and Fukushima had had to virtually drag Monkey Fist. Needless to say, last night hadn't been very productive. Monkey Fist and Yori had been out for the count, and only just recently had begun to come back to relative normality.

They'd driven to pick up Dr. Director and were now ready to find and stop Drakken and Shego's wedding. "Tonight, lassie, but the location es a villain refuge," Killigan stated, and the golfer wasn't keen on leading the _good_ guys to it.

"Problem easily solved," Monkey Fist said, still feeling like he had a hangover. Well, not that he'd had one before, _he_ certainly wouldn't be polluting his body and mind with binge amounts of alcohol, but from the stories and books he'd heard and read on them, this was definitely akin to one.

"Aye," Killigan agreed, catching on and grinning cruelly.

KP

All at once Will was seized from behind. "Hey!" he protested as Monkey Fist held him still.

"Sorry laddie, but we canno' betray every villain hotspot to ye' now," Killigan said, grinning coldly. He quickly blindfolded Will and bound him.

"Let me go!" Will insisted.

Monique screamed as Monkey Fist leapt over to her, quickly blindfolding and binding her. Fukushima, looking alarmed, turned to Monkey Fist with hurt and uncertainty in his eyes. Needless to say it paused the Monkey Lord, who had been about to seize him. "Yer goin' soft, Monkey Boy," Killigan bit, moving over and blindfolding Fukushima himself. The ninja wasn't fighting back, so there was no reason to hold him still.

Killigan went to bind him, but Monkey Fist said, "No, leave him unbound. He won't remove the blindfold."

"How can ye' be sure?" Killigan challenged.

"Because he's at a crossroads," Monkey Fist answered, and though they weren't completely sure of what he meant, they got the idea. Just as Hirotaka knew Fukushima's heart to be divided, so did Monkey Fist. The boy would keep the blindfold on, unbound or _not_.

"Like Ah said, yer goin' soft," Killigan repeated, rolling his eyes, but he left the young ninja alone.

"I am _not_ going soft!" Monkey Fist insisted, snatching a blindfold, some rope, and binding a surprisingly compliant and silent Yori with them. For a moment he was almost reluctant to do it before catching his thoughts and chastising himself vehemently, ensuring he bound her extra tightly. She hissed in pain. He harrumphed, unapologetic.

KP

Betty looked on in shock and turned to Jack, mouth agape. She was a little uncertain, she wouldn't hesitate to admit. "Jack?" she asked tentatively.

"Sorry honey," he said with a cold and amused glint in his eyes. "Nothing personal, but client confidentiality and all that." Betty's eyes narrowed dangerously. Oh they would definitely be having a 'talk' later. Nonetheless she didn't fight back as Killigan and Monkey Fist bound and gagged her.

"Jack, you're a dead man, do you hear me, _dead_!" Will shouted furiously. "You no good _creep_! And you _wonder_ why I couldn't stand you?!"

"Gag him," Jack simply ordered as he looked down, masking the hurt and guilt that sprang to his eyes. He hated to do this, he really did, but he had little choice.

"Gladly," Monkey Fist agreed, gagging the boy.

"Uncalled for, Hench, uncalled for," Betty lowly growled.

"Ye' want a gag as well, lass?" Killigan asked. The golfer cried out in pain as Will slammed into him with his body. "Ye' wee brat!" Killigan furiously shot, looking ready to strangle the agent. He leapt on the young man, in fact, hands wrapped around his throat as Will struggled. He needed to get himself and his mother out of here!

Betty began struggling. "Will!" she shrieked protectively, desperately trying to get loose.

"Killigan!" Jack sharply barked. The golfer ignored, scowling. "Son of a bi…" Jack began before catching himself. He unbuckled his seatbelt and swung around, seizing the golfer and yanking him off of the boy, who began coughing and gasping for breath. Jack roughly slammed the golfer back into the car seat and leaned menacingly over him, eyes glittering with murder and fury. "You listen to me, little man, and you listen well. If you _ever_ try to kill my son again, I will _personally_ ensure that the next batch of golf balls, explosive ingredients, and weapons you order has a very unfortunate and fatal malfunction, _capiche_!?"

Killigan was silent, looking at Jack in shock, the others gaping in awe. Duff hadn't known the man had it _in_ him. He reluctantly had to admit, he actually felt some respect for Hench. Killigan looked at Monkey Fist accusingly and expectantly. Monkey Fist shrugged, smirking coldly and tauntingly. He was enjoying this little show, honestly. Killigan thought he could all _him_ soft, did he? Well look where he was _now_. Jack let Duff go and pulled up his son, placing him back in his seat and buckling him in. Surprisingly enough, Will was silent. He'd expected the boy to try and be cursing him out through the gag, but he wasn't. He would have been worried the young man was unconscious, except Will's head was moving as the boy tried to work the blindfold off of his eyes. Not that it would do much good.

KP

"Shego, you'll look _gorgeous_!" Amy gushed, she, Camille, and Adrena helping the woman with her wedding dress. "Ooh I just knew Drakky poo and you would be together forever and always."

"Y-yeah," Shego replied, eyes flickering with emotions. She was a little scared, she had to admit. This was a _huge_ step to be taking. She was talking bigger than her deciding to leave Team Go, bigger than deciding to help save the word, bigger than _anything_.

"You'll be perfect, Shego," Camille said, hugging her fellow villainess. Shego blinked and frowned. Nonetheless she allowed the contact.

"Totally. This'll be a dream wedding come true," Adrena agreed. Seeing as Mama Lipsky had insisted Ed be Drakken's best man—Drew had been torn between Monkey Fist and Killigan so his mother had offered a compromise—Adrena had been named Maid of Honor. Because Killigan and Monkey Fist were groomsmen, they needed to be paired off with bridesmaids. That was where Amy and Camille came in. They were basically the only four female villains there were anyway, so they tended to stick together. They weren't really friends in any way, shape, or form—well, Camille and Adrena were pretty tight—but they figured why not?

"Now, makeup time," Camille said. Shego rolled her eyes. Fine, she'd let the other three have their fun.

KP

Meanwhile, Drakken was pacing agitatedly. "Nrrgh, where are Monkey Fist and Killigan?"

"Update, cuz, they're on their way, seriously," Ed stated, having just gotten off the phone with Jack Hench.

"About time!" Drakken shot.

"Yeah, now listen 'Dr.' Drakken, we need to have a talk," Hego said, distracted and highly uncomfortable in this crowd of villains.

"Oh no," Drakken groaned, looking over to Shego's four brothers, all of which looked protective and even dangerous, somehow. "What?" he replied, knowing already where this was going and wanting it over and done with.

"If you ever, _ever_ hurt our sister," Hego said.

"Hurt Shego? Oh I could never _ever_ do that," Drakken said, dreamily looking up at the roof. He meant that literally. Unless he did some quick and fancy work with his vines, she would lay him flat in _seconds_ if he tried. Not that he ever _would_.

"Right but if you do, Team Go will be there," Hego declared.

"If _she_ marries him, _she_ lives with the consequences," Mego said, rolling his eyes. Why was he here? He wasn't even _part_ of the wedding party.

"Don't touch our sister!" Wego One ordered.

"If you do you'll be in trouble," Wego Two threatened.

"Oh yeah? What can _you_ do?" Drakken sneered. He gasped as suddenly the room was filled with Wego clones. Drakken twitched and grinned innocently. "Oh, multiples, how nice. Point taken." The Wegos disappeared and Drakken sighed in relief.

KP

"Killigan and I may be able to slow up the wedding enough for you to reach Drakken in time with the antidote," Monkey Fist said to Hench, and the heroes too, he supposed, though he'd much rather they stayed out of the way.

"And if you _can't_?" Hench asked.

"Then et's goin' t' be a very awkward marriage, and a very awkward talk between Drakken, Shego, and Mama Lipsky," Killigan replied. The car came to a stop outside of the location. Jack wiped the GPS path, just in case Betty got any ideas, which she would, then nodded to Killigan and Monkey Fist. They nodded back and leapt out of the car, now dressed in suits. They raced towards the field where the wedding would take place. Killigan pointed at the building where the bride and groom would be getting ready. Monkey Fist nodded and the two turned to run for Drakken's dressing room. Jack set to work untying, unblindfolding, and ungagging the heroes.

KP

"Drakken!" Monkey Fist and Killigan exclaimed, leaping through the door.

"You have to know something!" Monkey Fist exclaimed.

"Finally you're here! About time. Come on, let's get this wedding started already. Mother's getting antsy. She believes Shego is going to walk out on me," Drakken declared, grabbing his two friends and pulling them outside, Ed right behind him.

"Drew, ye' do no' understand!" Killigan exclaimed in panic. Trying to stall had been a bust, to say the least. He looked around at the many villains gathered to watch the ceremony.

"Cut the chatter, Killigan," Drakken ordered. Before the two could even blink, they were lined up and the music Shego would walk down the aisle to was playing.

KP

"You're putting it in wrong!" Betty insisted.

"I know what I'm doing," Jack insisted.

"That's backwards. Give me that!" Betty shot. "The rate you're going it'll take all day."

"I can handle it," he hissed to her in the air vents.

"Oh for the love of _Pete_!" Will exclaimed.

"Oh no," Fukushima remarked.

"What now?" Monique groaned.

"Killigan and Monkey Fist have failed. The wedding is proceeding!" Fukushima replied.

"Give me that!" Betty shot, snatching the device they would use to shoot the antidote at the Cupid Ray victims, away from him. She took the vials and quickly put them in properly. "See, I told you so."

"We're not doing this right now, Betty," Jack warned.

"Why not? Apparently we had all the time in the world!" she snapped.

"Silence, both of you," Yori hissed, reaching around and seizing the gun. "I will enter Shego's dressing room." Swiftly she crawled towards the vent.

"See what you did?" Jack asked.

"Me, look who's talking," Betty sneered.

"Oh will you two give it a _rest_!" Will yelled.

"Quiet, Will. Mom and dad are having a talk," Jack shot sharply.

"Talk? This is a fight right out," Monique said to Fukushima. He nodded.

"You're upsetting him!" Betty protested, pointing at their son.

"_I'm_ upsetting him? _You're_ upsetting him!" Jack defended.

"You're doing it again, see! He doesn't need to hear his parents fighting like this, Jack," Betty argued.

"Well he'll get _used_ to it," Jack replied.

"How can you be so insensitive?" Betty demanded.

"We're not doing this here, honey!" Jack shot.

"Shut up!" Will yelled.

Down in the yard the villains looked around. "Did you hear something?" Frugal Lucre asked the others. They were quite. Nothing.

"Probably the wind," Hank Perkins replied, shrugging it off.

Meanwhile, Yori reached the vent and leapt through down into Shego's dressing room. She gasped. Shego wasn't here, which meant she was heading for the aisle! "Shego is already moving!" Yori called up to the vents.

"Oh great," Monique groaned. They leapt down into the dressing room to join Yori. Immediately they darted out the door and began navigating the building, trying to find the way out.

KP

Whisperings were occurring. The bride was coming! They all turned to look back There appeared Shego in a beautiful wedding dress! Not something like from a movie or fairy tale, white and poofy like that, but a gown styled green and black, and designed to fit Shego's personality _exactly_. And did it _ever_ suit her. Drakken's mouth dropped. Killigan and Monkey Fist gaped in disbelief. Shego gave a sly and wicked grin, winking at her husband to be. Drakken almost collapsed. Luckily Monkey Fist and Killigan managed to catch and steady him.

"Hurry, we must reach them in time!" Yori exclaimed to the others.

"We'll never make it," Betty said, looking into a monitor of the lawn. Shego was halfway down the grassy aisle!

"This is _so_ bad," Will said.

"We are gathered here today to witness the unity of two very wicked people," the ordained man stated. Of course they hardly heard, too busy gazing adoringly into each other's eyes. "Who gives this woman away?"

"I do, Hego Go," Hego said, though his hold on his sister's arm was almost crushing. He didn't _want_ to give her away! She was _his_ sister!

Shego tried to pull away but found she couldn't. She started and frowned at Hego. "Okay, I know you have the 'Big Brother protectiveness' thing going on, but you have three seconds before I blast you to let me go, Hego!" Hego whimpered but obeyed. Shego smiled at him and almost as an afterthought gave his arm a squeeze, eyes becoming… he didn't know. Shego like, he guessed, but Hego could see in them an understanding and reassurance. He wasn't sure how to explain it except for 'you had to be there.' It was so Shego yet not. He swallowed painfully, feeling tears threaten his eyes, and smiled at her, bending forward and kissing her cheek. It was her wedding, so chances were she'd let it slide. Luckily for him he was right, only feeling a slight burn and seeing her eyes glitter as she frowned.

KP

The ceremony went on, the guests blissfully unaware of what was happening.

"Dead end!" Monique exclaimed as they reached another wall.

"This cannot be happening," Fukushima groaned. "It is like a _maze_!"

Monkey Fist and Killigan, meanwhile, were biting their nails in panic. The others would never _make_ it in time at this rate. "Do you, Drew Theodore Lipsky, take Shego Go to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" the man asked.

"I-I do," Drakken said in disbelief, almost believing he was in a dream. If so, he never wanted to wake up from it.

"Do you, Shego Go, take Drew Theodore Lipsky to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" the man asked.

"What do _you_ think?" she demanded, impatient. She wanted to get this done so they could kiss and be married already.

"If anyone has any reason to why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace," the man said.

"_I_ do, not that anyone cares," Mego grumbled from the front row. Shego scowled viciously at him, lighting her hand. Mego smirked teasingly at her. Oh she was too easy to rile up. The wedding would proceed, though.

"He ain't the _only_ one with an objection! We object, we object, this ain't even _real_!" Monique exclaimed to the others as they were desperately trying to find their way down to the yard. By now it was obvious, though, that they were too late.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride," the minister declared. Shego leapt into Drakken's arms, kissing him passionately. Drakken held her tightly back.

"Oh no," Monkey Fist groaned.

"This aien't good," Killigan agreed. Maybe they _should_ have spoken up at the objection part.

The duo watched helplessly as Drakken and Shego signed the papers, and as the minister said, "The reception will be held at 11:00 PM in Drakken's lair."

Shego, being hugged by DNAmy, Camille, and Adrena, was soon pulled away and held tightly by her brothers. Less so Mego, though it was obvious he was still eager to hold her. Drakken turned to his two friends, saying excitedly, "Can you believe it?! Shego and I are married!"

"Oh, heh heh, no," Monkey Fist answered. Drakken looked confused. "I mean yes!" he quickly covered.

"Et was bound t' happen, laddie, but did et have t' happen while ye' two were under the effects o' the Cupid Ray. Do ye' know what'll happen when yer _cured_?" Killigan asked numbly.

"Oh please, like _that'll_ ever happen," Drakken replied. He and Shego climbed into the hovercraft and took off into the air. Killigan and Monkey Fist exchanged helpless looks. They had better find the others. Oh they were going to get an _earful_.

* * *

(A/N: I wasn't originally have them go through with it, but after a few reviewers commented on it I decided to go ahead and see what I could do with it. It would definitely make the whole situation more awkward, though after this story I probably won't refer to them often as man and wife. I'll have them basically unchanged, except around Mama Lipsky.)


	12. Reception

_**Kim Possible: Cupid Struck Stupid**_

(A/N: Second up today and last chapter of story.)

Reception

"How could you have possibly been so _delayed_?" Monkey Fist demanded of Jack, Betty, Will, Monique, Yori, and Fukushima.

"That place is a labyrinth!" Will defended. "Why didn't you two _object_?!"

"Are ye' _daft_, lad? We'd have had the entire villain community plus Team Go on our tails," Killigan replied.

"Now what?" Monique asked.

"Now we get them at the reception," Jack stated. "And this time we _won't_ be late."

"By then it'll be _too_ late," Betty said.

"May I please to ask for what?" Yori questioned.

"For them to be spared the fate you and Monkey Fist were spared," Fukushima stated. Yori and Monkey Fist blushed deeply on being reminded of the near lovemaking session they'd had before it had been stopped by Yori. "With Drakken and Shego there is no holding them back. They are man and wife. You two were not."

KP

Drakken lay back on the bed beneath Shego, the two sharing in a tender kiss. She grinned, pulling away, and nuzzled him. "Mmm, you're good at that," she said. She still couldn't get over just how naturally it came to him.

"You really think so? It's really just natural instinct, although…" he began.

"Dr. D, shut up. No rants. Tonight only us," she said, unbuttoning his tuxedo. He blinked then caught on, eyes lighting up.

"You _are_ a vixen," he growled softly. She grinned wickedly, reminding him again of a panther. He took her and rolled over, her beneath him. Not that he'd have the dominant place for long, but for now he was very much enjoying it as he undid her dress so that in a matter of moments she lay before him hiding nothing. She grinned softly and giggled, which he found cute as well as intriguing, because Shego never giggled. Well, during the Moodulator incidents she had, and when he'd had her under mind control, and when she'd been hit with the Attitudinator, but still!

She rolled over, him beneath her, and kissed her new husband adoringly. "I love you," she whispered to him.

"I love you too," he replied. He realized, suddenly, that he was undressed. He decided not to bother trying to recall when that had happened, as last he'd been aware only his chest was exposed to her. Thank goodness he'd had the foresight to send the Henchmen away. This was _their_ time, and by the gods they would enjoy every second of it, right up until they had to start preparing to go to the reception. She gasped and moaned in pleasure as they melted into each other's embrace.

KP

They waited for the bride and groom to show, Jack having had to both bribe and make some pretty big promises to even get Monique, Yori, Betty, and Will overlooked and inside. Monkey Fist hadn't had much trouble with securing Fukushima's admission. The only thing he'd really had to say was that the boy had been a traitor and he was welcomed with open arms. The ninja was unsure whether to be chagrined or flattered. "Here they come," Monique said, pointing at the door. Sure enough Drakken and Shego swept in.

Killigan and Monkey Fist immediately identified the glows. "Ach, we're too late," Killigan groaned. "Drew es goin' t' need the protection o' the _army_ when Shego catches on, let alone _us_."

"This ends now," Betty stated, drawing the gun with the antidotes in it. "The minute the first dance between bride and groom starts, I'll shoot."

"Very well," Monkey Fist agreed.

Drakken and Shego swept onto the floor beaming at each other. Betty cringed. She hated to do this, honestly. They looked so _happy_. For a moment her resolve was shaken.

"Give me that," Monkey Fist snapped, snatching it.

"Oh please, ye' could no' hit the broadside o' a barn wi' a _canon_. Stick wi' yer spears," Killigan said.

"Excuse me?!" Monkey Fist replied, insulted. "I'll have you know I _can_ shoot!"

"Maybe, but can ye' shoot _well_?" Killigan asked.

Monkey Fist twitched, remembering hunts with his father when he had been a teenager. He cringed. With the way _he_ shot, he'd been more likely to kill other hunters than the prey. He handed the gun over to the golfer, frowning. Humph, his father should have let him bring spears on hunts. Well, eventually he had. The first time old Lord Fiske had allowed it, Monkey Fist had had to step in to bring down a bear, with a single thrust he proudly added to himself. His father never let him touch another gun again, but he was allowed all the spears he wanted on hunts from that day on.

"We need a trained shot, not a golfer," Will hissed.

"Ah can manage," Killigan stated.

"We can't afford a mess up. Mom or I are better suited to shoot it," Will protested.

"How about I end this debate now?" Jack asked, snatching the gun, taking aim as Drakken was dipping Shego, and firing.

Will and Betty gasped. "You can _shoot_?!" Will exclaimed.

"I deal with guns on a regular basis. You don't think I can shoot a weapon to save my life? Kid, I could shoot a hummingbird out of the sky," Jack stated. Will looked at Betty in disbelief.

"He's right," she backed, shrugging. "Your father is one of the best shots I've seen in as long as I've _worked_ for Global Justice. Now sit back and watch."

KP

Shego and Drakken cried out in pain as they felt the impacts of the needles burying into their skin. The guests gasped. The antidote worked quickly and effectively. The newlyweds shook their heads and paled, looking down at each other in horror, disgust, and terror. "Shego!" Drakken exclaimed in fear, inwardly panicking on remembering everything.

"Keep dancing!" she ordered. Quickly, numbly, Drakken pulled her up and obeyed. The two were clinging to each other in shock.

"What do we do?" Drakken asked.

"We divorce!" she hissed furiously, kicking herself over and over again. Ugh, she wanted to rip out her _eyes_, and her heart for that matter.

"Are you insane? That would _kill_ my mother!" Drakken protested.

"Being married to _you_ will kill _me_!" she shot.

"Oh please, you're nothing if not resilient," he bit.

"Drakken!" she shot. "Oh gods, we had se…"

"Nrrgh, don't," Drakken begged.

"And, ugh, we _liked_ it!" she continued, now starting to freak out.

"Shego!" he shot. "Snap out of it. Ixnay on the istakemay." He grinned innocently at his mother, who was watching them suspiciously.

"What, so we're just supposed to stay married so Mama Lipsky doesn't keel over and die?" Shego demanded.

"Preferably _yes_!" Drakken shot. "When she'd kicks the bucket you can _have_ you divorce, but not a moment before."

"Drakken," she growled, hands lighting up.

"I'll increase your paycheck by two-hundred dollars!" he exclaimed desperately.

She started, froze, then replied in a growl, after a moment's debate, "Fine, we'll stay married. But no more touchy feely in bed! And no kissy face. Nothing changes! As far as anyone knows, we're the same as always."

"Deal," he desperately agreed.

"One more thing, if _I_ end up pregnant after today's, ugh 'love making,' you're fried like chicken, _got_ it?" she growled. He blinked at her in horror then grinned innocently.

KP

"No way," Kim said in awe as they heard Fukushima, Yori, Monique, Betty, and Will's stories.

"You almost had, well, _that_, with _Monkey_ Fist?!" Ron exclaimed to Yori in disbelief.

"Hai, I am afraid it is so," Yori answered, shamefully bowing her head. What she refused to admit under any circumstances was that part of her was still curious as to what it would have been _like_.

"And Drakken and Shego are still _married_," Kim stated, still trying to wrap her head around it.

"For Mama Lipsky's sake and health, they really didn't have much choice," Betty answered. "Fair warning, if you ever call them man and wife, they'll make you regret it."

"And Monique and Fukushima are finally an item!" Amelia exclaimed happily.

"We are _not_!" they protested.

They exchanged looks, cringed, then Fukushima turned back, adding, "We are merely… experimenting with the courting process."

"Dating," Amelia said, smirking wickedly.

"Experimenting!" Monique insisted.

"You're in it for keeps," Kim teased Monique.

"Kim!" Monique shot. "Girl, we do _not_ have to listen to this." Kim put up her hands in a pacifying gesture.

"At least there will be no more psychiatric sessions. Hopefully not for a while, or ever. It sounds as if we missed quite a _lot_," Hirotaka remarked.

"You have _no_ idea," Will said, smirking at Fukushima and Monique secretively. They smirked back.


End file.
